Scientists Discover Metre-Long Giant Worm That Basically Huffs Farts

If there’s anything that David Attenborough has taught us, it’s that nature is completely fucked. The sort of nature that we interact with on a day-to-day basis is fine – dogs, cats, whatever – but there are things out there whose very existence is an affront to the beauty of God’s creation. Take, as a timely example, the giant shipworm.

You know what the best thing about worms is? Worms are very small. Sure, they are kind of weird and gross, but ultimately redeemed by the fact that they are much smaller than I am, and I could beat them in a fight if they tried to get weird with me. This is why I am very upset to discover that the giant shipworm a) grows to be about three feet long and b) exists.
What in the fresh fuck is a giant shipworm, I hear you ask? The giant shipworm or giant tube worm (Kuphus polythalamia) is the largest bivalve in the world by length (think oysters, clams, mussels – basically anything disgusting either eaten by rich people or that produces pearls to be worn by rich people).
They are hideous beasts that live in hollow calcium carbonate tubes formed from their own filthy secretions, they are also exceptionally rare, with scientists only having just found a live one in the wild for the first time ever this year.
The specimen (which I shall refer to for the rest of the article as “Tubes McFuck“) was found by scientists in Mindanao in the Philippines. Tubes McFuck is about the length of a baseball bat and, according to Wikipedia, is “gunmetal black, and very muscular“.
True to that description, Tubes looks a lot like a muscular gunmetal nightmare penis from hell:
If you want some real HR Giger-esque nightmare fuel, cop a squiz at Tubes McFuck’s gaping mouth:
And if you think that’s horrifying, have a look at the scientists cracking open Tubes’ shell and rudely pulling him out into the world:
The giant shipworm is unlike other shipworms (who mostly ate wood) in that it gets most of its nutrients from a symbiotic relationship it has with bacteria that live in its gills. The bacteria turns nasty ass rotten egg gas (specifically hydrogen sulfide) from rotting timber and mud into organic carbon, which is then fed straight into the shipworm.
What a beautiful, disgusting world.
Source: Phys.org.
Photos: Marvin Altamia.

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