QLD Vet Removes Mandarin-Sized Ball Of Smegma From V. Troubled Horse’s Dick

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Published

June 20, 2017

A ball of smegma, called a ‘urethral bean’, weighing 300 grams, has been removed from a horse’s penis in rural Queensland.

So according to mums on the internet, for comparison, a salt shaker, a medium-sized tomato, an average bar of soap, a box of paperclips or a dinner fork each weigh about 100 grams – so three of those is the size of the thing that was in this horse’s dick. Imagine pulling a tomato, a bar of soap and a fork out of this horse’s D.

Tess Salmond, a vet in Clermont, 274 kilometres southwest of Mackay, extracted the massive “bean” from the horse known as Mr Flea, to the astonishment/jealousy/awe of other vets across the country, some of whom, have called it the biggest ever found.

Take a look at this thing:

It looks like a fucking potato. But imagine that potato lodged in your urethra.

Salmond described the bean as a “monster“, that is “the size of a mandarin“, and explained:

“It’s basically this big, huge ball of smegma. That’s a waxy substance that includes dirt, skin cells and secretions, and it builds up. It was just a routine examination when the horse had been sedated to have its teeth checked, and we just check to see if they’ve got one of these and I struck the mother lode.”

Had the blockage been left untreated, the bean could have grown big enough to be more than just uncomfortable, which in and of itself can lead to unspecific hind leg lameness, but may have restricted Mr Flea’s ability to pee, which can cause colic. But apparently his beanie baby grew out to the side, which, according to Salmond, makes this horse “very lucky“, although he will need to have his urethra checked more regularly. It’s generally recommended if you are a person who has a horse that has a dick – a bro-ny if you will – that you clean your buddy up at least once a year.

So there you go, we’ve all learned something about horse dick hygiene today.

And in case you were worried, Salmond says Mr Flea, the horse, is feelin’ ay-okay: “I think he walked away with a spring in his step, there’s no doubt about that.”