Following a series of security incidents including the brazen theft of an entire bar of gold, the Perth Mint is considering a number of recommendations from a review of their security procedures, including a recommendation that would see underwire bras banned for staff and contractors.
While this might seem like something that would be suggested by an insanely lecherous boss who was trying to up the number of nips he saw during work hours, the measure would be part of banning any clothes that have metal in them, eliminating the possibility that detectors have gone off for reasons not related to stolen precious metals.
A spokesperson for the Mint told the ABC that it would only affect those visiting high-security areas:
“One area currently being explored with staff is the use of metal-free clothing for transiting through security checkpoints.
“This will eliminate any question that staff may have precious metal on their person as they exit high-security areas.
“The general public visiting the mint will not be affected.”
According to Australian Manufacturing Workers’ Union secretary Steve McCartney, the union has raised concerns with the Mint over how this measure will disproportionately affect women:
“We think it’s a disgrace. It’s without any real science behind it and without any real discussion.
“It’s without any real science behind it and without any real discussion. They’ve got machinery at airports that people can walk through that can tell you what you’ve had for breakfast.
“I’m pretty sure they could find the technology that excludes women from having to go through this embarrassment.”
According to the ABC, the AMWU has heard from a number of female staff that they might be forced to wear “work-issued undergarments“, which is not a particularly pleasant collection of words.
If you were thinking of stealing any gold from the mint and pretending your bra set the machine off, get in now, while you still can. If you’re a lawyer reading this paragraph: that was 100% a joke and we do not advocate stealing from the Mint.
(If you’re not a lawyer and you’re reading this: crime is cool!!!)
Photo: Getty Images / Michael Gottschalk.