A North Bondi Children’s Pool Has Been Swarmed With, What, At Least Ten Bluebottles

Bondi Bluebottles

Bluebottles, bluebottles everywhere! It’s no mystery that Australia is jam-packed with a million and one creepy critters that are out to end you, but oftentimes we forget about our blue friends, the bluebottles. Please look at this horrific stack of the things at this Bondi children’s pool.

Look, I was never that good at guessing how many jelly beans were in the jar in primary school, but if I had to guess how many bluebottles are in this pic, I’d say that there were at least 400 of the things? If not more? (Probably more).

Captioned “Australia! If the waves don’t get you, the Bluebottles will,” Isaac Irvin posted the pic to his Twitter which features a metric fuck-tonne of bluebottles at a North Bondi children’s pool.

I don’t know about you but that does not look child-safe.

“Normally, bluebottles come in with a nor‘easter and that started blowing overnight,” a spokesperson for Surf Life Saving NSW told News.com.

“It is blowing at 20 knots and that is a very strong wind. Bluebottles are turning up on our beaches already.

“I’d be very surprised if they weren’t turning up on a lot of beaches throughout NSW with this nor‘easter blowing from Coffs all the way down to far south coast down to places like Bega (and nearby beaches including Merimbula and Tura Beach).”

The Twitter post prompted others to also post pics of bluebottles, including UNSW Marine Ecology Professor Emma Johnston. 

“Still enough of these freshly beached beauties to make me think twice about a swim,” she wrote, and damn do I agree.

Bluebottle stings are painful as hell, and can cause severe inflammation and pain for a couple of hours after.

If you ever get stung by a bluebottle, there are many misconceptions about what you can do, but the best course of action is to pour really hot water over the affected area, not cold, and stay still until you do.

Basically, if you bring a bottle of water to the beach, and it’s a sunny day, you’ll always have a bluebottle-pain alleviator at the ready.

If you need me I’m going to be staring at pics of bluebottles because like, what the hell are they really and what do they want with my money?