A Month-Long Bout Of Furious Rain Is Coming And That, Ironically, Does Not Make Me Wet

wet weather month long rain forecast australia

When the sun is shining above me, I’m gonna be honest, I feel like a Teletubby. Joyful, flourishing, acne-free, in my lane, probably wearing a pimp’s cow-print hat. You know, the good stuff. Nothing bad can happen to me when Vitamin D is coursing through my veins. However, the sun is never fkn around anymore and it looks like she’ll be leaving us for a long, long time. This does not make me feel like a Teletubby. This makes me feel like the slug lady from Monsters Inc.

Yes, my friends, rainy weather is making its way into the skies again and the sun will be fucking right off. It feels like we only got a single good week with her. Why are we all getting collectively ghosted by a star in the sky??

According to the Binches of Meteorology (BoM), a rain band is going to cinch the waist of the northern coast of Australia. Miss Australia will look mighty skinny, but the rest of us will be damper than a bickie that’s been dipped in warm milk for longer than 1.5 seconds.

Areas most likely to cop a drenching include the NT, WA, Qld and NSW. Great time to be a Melburnian or one of the six people who live in Canberra.

I know what you’re thinking: “But Mr News writer man, you fkn told us that La Niña was leaving! Clickbait!”

Well yeah, we told you that because she is. This is just some other disastrous weather event.

So disastrous that we may not have a week without rain until the end of JULY.

“Rain will become heavier and more widespread between Thursday and Saturday as the cloudband slowly drifts further east,” said a spokesperson for Weatherzone.

“This rain event could cause flooding in parts of the NT, QLD and eastern NSW, including areas that are normally dry at this time of year.”

Apparently, we’re about to cop “several months’ worth” of liquid spraying us incessantly.

Something tells me excessive rain threatening floods in areas that are usually dry isn’t normal. Just a hunch.

Brollies out mates, you know the drill by now. Shit’s fucked and the weather stops for no one.