Have you ever wanted to go to a theme park dedicated wholly to Monopoly? No? Well, bad luck because that exact concept is coming to Melbourne later this year.
The big board game-inspired bastard is going to be called Monopoly Dreams, which is somewhat ironic considering the game itself is reminiscent of the nine circles of Hell described in Dante’s Inferno. You’ve got Greed (late-stage capitalism), Violence (smacking your brother in a fit of rage after he puts a hotel on Boardwalk, thus sending you into bankruptcy) and even a smattering of Fraud (making up new rules which simply don’t exist).
If the idea of moseying through such hellish circles titillates you then set a reminder for September when Monopoly Dreams opens at Melbourne Central. That’s right, folks! Situated in the shopping centre’s lower ground level, the theme park — which cost $20 million to build — will span 1700 square metres.
Ticket prices start at $30, and there’ll be two areas for folks to explore: Mr. Monopoly’s Mansion and Monopoly City.
At the tiny, moustached man’s home, you can take a look at his penthouse, study and personal memento collection. There’s also a vault which houses a diamond, and you can test Mr. Monopoly’s security system by attempting to steal the precious stone.
Over in Monopoly City, you can go to jail, collect cash from the bank, fix broken pipes at the Water Works and power the Electric Company. I certainly hope Mr. Monopoly will pay people for their labour but given he’s a capitalist pig, we just can’t be sure.
The theme park will also house a 4DX cinema. According to Monopoly Dreams’ website, 4DX is “state-of-the-art film technology delivering an immersive multi-sensory cinematic experience”.
“The Monopoly 4DX cinema features an exclusive, never-before-seen 4DX movie. Join Mr. Monopoly and his loyal dog Scottie as they embark on an adventure that takes them to some of Melbourne’s iconic locations.
“Special 3D glasses will make the adventure come alive, whilst state-of-the-art motion-enabled chairs roll, sway, twist, pitch and heave whilst synchronised to real-life effects including water, wind, fog, scent and more!”
I am in bits at the thought of this extraordinary cinematic technology being used for Monopoly. Will the audience be able to smell the deeply smelly cum trees dotted around the streets of Melbourne as Mr. Monopoly and Scottie tour the city? Will the devious duo bump into Dua Lipa at Hope St Radio? We just don’t know.
Once you’re done at the cinema, you can dine at the Monopoly Dreams café or go hog-wild at the gift shop. Who doesn’t want some stylish Monopoly-inspired merchandise in their wardrobe?
The opportunities really are endless at Monopoly Dreams!
