We’ve Been Playing ‘Monopoly’ Wrong This Whole Time & Just Fuck Us Right Up

I hope you’re ready for to have your world completely shattered, because this has gone and fucked me right up, folks. I am inconsolably rumbled.

In a recent Twitter thread where user @iowahawkblog asked which trivial hill people were most willing to die on, @AskRubenHow2Bet responded with this little nugget of information about everyone’s favourite / most frustrating board game, Monopoly.

Do you realise how much bloody time this would save? I, for one, have wasted hours waiting to land on a property I had my eye on when we could have just auctioned that shit off when someone else landed on. Just fuck me right up.

Whenever you land on an unowned property you may buy that property from the Bank at its printed price.

You receive the Title Deed card showing ownership; place it face up in front of you. If you do not wish to buy the property, the Banker sells it at auction to the highest bidder. The buyer pays the Bank the amount of the bid in cash and receives the Title Deed card for that property.

Any player, including the one who declined the option to buy it at the printed price, may bid. Bidding may start at any price.

Ruben then went on to clarify the rule, stating that you can bid in the auction even if you were the one who landed on the property and turned it down. Bloody hell.

As you’d imagine, the tweet went absolutely wild, spinning out just about everyone bar the few who “already knew the rules”.

While we’re on the topic of playing Monopoly completely fucking wrong, have you always put the money from fines and taxes in the middle of the board, collectable for the lucky motherfucker who lands on Free Parking? Wrong. The money goes to the bank and that space is for taking a break to count your cash.

This is bullshit.