Do The Right Thing & Sign This Petition To Make Keanu TIME’s Person Of The Year

Unless you’ve been living under some sort of soundproof, internetless rock the past god knows how long, you’ve no doubt heard a fair bit of buzz about this Keanu Reeves fella as of late.

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Reeves is currently enjoying the kind of mid-career thirst boon usually reserved for when a former 90s teen heartthrob goes grey and starts taking roles in low-budget Sundance darlings, but unlike any of them, this upswing in popularity seems to have legs.

Case in point, fans have now started a petition to get Reeves the coveted TIME Person of the Year gong, and lo and behold it’s taking the fuck off.

The petition sprung up just on a week ago and slowly began accumulating mass, before exploding overnight as people finally caught wind of the truth: That Keanu Reeves should absolutely be named TIME Person of the Year for 2019.

The reasoning for pushing Keanu towards the lofty award – won in recent times by the Silence Breakers of the #MeToo movement, Barack Obama, and, uh… “You” – is devilishly simple:

Honestly, where’s the fucken lie in that?

At the time of writing, the petition had attracted just over 20,000 signatures, but was rising at a rate of about 1,000 per minute, so lord knows what number it’s sitting on now, at this very moment, while you’re reading this article.

If you feel like doing the right damned thing – and you should – you can add your voice to the growing roar by slapping a John Hancock down on the official petition page right now.

Good lord it’s gonna sting severely whenever something crook he’s said/done in the past resurfaces.