Ivanka Trump Claims She Had A ‘Punk Phase’ And Sweetie Please Don’t

For those of you still kicking the tin along in 2017 claiming that punk ain’t dead, I have some urgent and horrifying news: Ivanka Trump claims that she had a ‘punk phase’ in the 90s.

That’s right folks – the woman best known for putting a weird smiling face on her father’s increasingly authoritarian right-wing administration wants us all to believe that she was an anti-establishment, fuck authority punk rocker in her heyday. The news comes from her mother Ivana‘s new book Raising Trump, where the younger Trump chimes in with an anecdote about her alleged punk past.

During my punk phase in the nineties, I was really into Nirvana. My wardrobe consisted of ripped corduroy jeans and flannel shirts. One day after school, I dyed my hair blue. Mom wasn’t a fan of this decision. She took one look at me and immediately went out to the nearest drugstore to buy a $10 box of Nice’n Easy. That night, she forced me to dye my hair back to blond. The colour she picked out was actually three shades lighter than my natural color… and I have never looked back!

She also conveyed her deep spiritual torment at age twelve over the death of Kurt Cobain:

It wasn’t too long after this that Kurt Cobain, the singer, songwriter, and guitarist for Nirvana, committed suicide. It was a shock and I was distraught. Mom had no idea who Kurt Cobain was, and she sympathised only so much. After twenty-four hours of my crying inconsolably in my room, alone—major melodrama—Mom had to pull me out of there to go down to dinner.

Crying when Kurt Cobain died? Dying your hair blue? Only true 90s punks know that feeling.

The people of the internet are somewhat skeptical of Ivanka’s punk credentials – given the fact that she was born into a billionaire family, her raging against the machine seems somewhat hollow. You know?


There you go. As far as I’m concerned, this is confirmation. Ivanka: tru punx.