Coldie. Amber nectar. Barley sandwich. Brewski. Suds. Frosty pop. Liquid gold. Vitamin B. Britney Spears. Such are the feelings of warmth and affection that beer drinkers have for their thirst quencher of choice, that its capacity for inspiring ridiculous nicknames knows no bounds (Britney Spears = cockney rhyming slang for beers. Can you even?). As drinks for the 18+ crowd are concerned, in terms of national identity sign posts, none are more iconic or evocative than beer.
Next time you’re sitting in the sun, surrounded by friends and a few coldies, remember that not only is beer exceedingly delicious, it is also an ancient liquid with a revered – spiritual even! – history. We’ve traced the eminent history off beer, way back from its sudsy origins in 3500 BCE to the Great Craft Beer Revolution. So without further ado, knock the lip off a coldie and drink in an Abridged History Of The “Divine Drink”…
3500-3100 BCE
The Sumerians are the oldest recorded beer brewers and worshipped Nin-kasi the ‘Goddess of Brewing’. It is thought that the Sumerians happened across the recipe by accident and then deduced that the “divine drink” was a gift from the Gods, obviously. Sumerians: they get it.
“yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew” – Sumerian goat
3000 BCE
After the Sumerian empire collapsed it became all about the Babylonians, the first craft brewers, who had a range of twenty different beers. These early bevvies were usually cloudy and unfiltered so they were usually enjoyed through a straw (to avoid floaters). A Babylonian King, Hammurabi, decried that there would be a daily beer ration, divvying out approx. 2 liters per person (5 liters for administrators and high priests) ((a tad more than modern consumption recommendations)). Hammurabi, a man of the people.
1550 BCE
The Egyptians were so into beer brewing that scribes created a special ‘Brewer’ hieroglyph and beer has been found within the tombs of Pharoahs; which was, of course, for post-death thirst quenching purposes.
In Ancient Egypt beer was also prescribed as treatment for various diseases (which, of course, cured everything).
100 CE
During this period beer the Romans, for the most part, considered beer ‘a barbarian drink’ and wine tended to be a bit more in vogue.
Elsewhere in the ancient world, the great Greek philosopher Sophocles recommended “bread, meat, vegetables and beer” in his philosophy of a moderate diet and the Germans were just consistently all over it, believing that intoxication was ‘divine’. Those kooky Germans.
770 CE
Emperor Charlemagne, the ruler of the Christian kingdom, was beer’s #1 fan and even starting training brewers himself to keep that gold stuff flowing.
1516 CE
The German ‘Reinheitsgebot’ (Purity Law) was introduced saying that beer had to be brewed using water, hops and malt. No messing around with any of those impure liquids.
It’s actually still in effect today, though in a slightly different form.
1560 CE
‘The Great Drinkers of the North’ facsimile woodcut below sums up the feelings towards booze throughout the Middle Ages.
We like to include the Game Of Thrones universe in this time period. They were slamming meat and mead – BEER! – while deflecting white walkers and enduring decidedly un-chill wedding gatherings.
1573 CE
The first known book on brewing is published in Germany by Heinrich Knaust , and it included a lot of what people knew about brewing at the time and in-depth info on about 150 different beers. called ‘Fünff Bucher, von der Göttlichen und Edleen Gabe, der Philosphischen, hochtewren and wunderbaren Kunt Bier zu brawen’. Seriously.
1844 CE
What is most likely the first photograph of men drinking beer is taken in Scotland circa 1844:
Lads ‘avin’ a laff
1850-1950 CE
The refrigeration process was much improved and mass distribution of beer became a thing because, cold beer is angel juice.
1919 CE
Prohibition laws are passed in the United States (to later be repealed in 1933) and Boardwalk Empire begins filming.
1977 CE
Michael Jackson (not that one), also known as “The Beer Hunter”, publishes the influential book ‘The World Guide to Beer‘ and is later credited with the being one of the key factors behind the ‘Beer Renaissance’ or ‘Beer Revolution’. His book also popularised the idea of ‘beer styles’ and is generally considered a great edition to the beer canon.
1992 CE
Astronaut-homebrewer Bill Readdy, who also happened to be an avid homebrewer, headed off to space on Mission STS-42 with a baggie full of hops. The same hops, which circled the earth 128 times, was later brewed into a beer and served at Spinnakers Brewpub in Victoria, British Columbia. SPACE BEER, you guys!
2000 CE
As a cure for your common Y2K, Little Creatures began making beer from their little brewery on the water’s edge in Fremantle. Onya, legends.
2013 CE
Little Creatures opened up their second brewery in Geelong, Victoria, and made a bloody delightful video about the story of the people who worked at the old 1920’s textile mill that is now the brewery:
2014 – CE
The future is now! Craft Brewers the world over are killing it with high quality, innovative and delicious beers and there has actually never been a more exciting time for beer lovers to be tasting than right now. In other related news, we’re going to organise beers with Karl. Yes, it’s definitely going to happen.
Thanks to the passion of drinkers throughout the ages, beer, as a beverage, has come a long way from its humble and chunky beginnings. It is now completely chewy bit free and is generally brewed in hygienic conditions – what a time to be alive! Thanks for joining us on our thirst-inducing walk through the beers of yeasteryear; may the hops be ever in your favour.
