Elon Musk Stress-Cut A Mohawk After SpaceX Nears Bankruptcy & Hun, We’ve All Been There

Elon Musk

Elon Musk has proven once again that money cannot buy style. His latest ‘do suggests that the world’s richest man who co-founded Tesla, SpaceX and Neuralink, should probs expand his investment portfolio into the realm of decent hairdressing salons.

Photographed in Miami right before the Art Basel international art fair, Musk was accompanied by his one-year-old son X Æ A-XII but also (more importantly) his puppy, Marvin.

He was also sporting quite the alarming new ‘do, which you can [gaze upon in horror right HERE] thanks to the Daily Mail paying for the pap pics.

Aesthetically, Elon is now channeling big Spider Pig vibes from the Simpsons Movie (2007). TELL me you don’t see it.

Spider Pig

The ‘business at the sides, party in the middle’ hairdo absolutely screams “I’m 50 years old and definitely coping really well and my companies are all super profitable”.

Musk has already made headlines this week for an email he sent to SpaceX employees at the weekend.

The email was obtained by several news organisations including CNBC and detailed the CEO’s anxieties regarding the production of the Raptor engine for its Starship flights.

This is a huge deal for Musky since Starship is the vehicle he hopes will transport us all the way to Mars and this burning wreck of a planet that we will inevitably fuck with our greenhouse emissions and farts.

Musk was reported to have said in the email: “Unfortunately, the Raptor production crisis is much worse than it seemed a few weeks ago.

“As we have dug into the issues following exiting prior senior management, they have unfortunately turned out to be far more severe than was reported. There is no way to sugarcoat this.”

Oh boy, no sugar coating? That’s a spicy space meat-a-ball.

He later clarified his thoughts in the following tweet.

While Musky has his critics, SpaceX has genuinely been a pioneer in the space exploration scene especially in 2021.

As Gizmodo reported “in 11 months SpaceX managed to launch 25 successful Falcon 9 missions, sent a dozen astronauts to space and drew a roadmap to mass commercialization with its Starlink satellite internet service.”

Let’s be real though, none of that is as newsworthy as his new goddam mohawk.