Musty toenail Donald Trump has announced he is running for US president again and FFS, can the world not catch a break?

Trump filed the paperwork for his presidential bid mere minutes before he was expected on stage to make an announcement, according to 9 News. His campaign organisation, titled “Donald J Trump for President 2024”, was submitted to the Federal Election Commission just before 1pm.

His speech started off discussing the “golden age” of his previous presidential reign and honestly, he sounded like a villain you’d get on Boss Baby.

“There has never been anything like it,” he said, per 9 News.

“There has never been anything to compete with what we’ve all done.”

“Inflation was non-existent,” he also claimed about his time as President.

“Because the border was so tight, drugs were coming in at the lowest level in many, many years.”

He also said China was paying “billions” in tariffs, which straight up just isn’t true because tariffs are paid by importers, not exporters. But hey, who expected there to be any facts in this speech.

Trump also said he had a good relationship with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un, lol.

“My opponents made me out to be a warmonger and just a terrible person,” Trump said.

“And yet, I’ve gone decades and decades without a war.”

Sir, you were president for three years.

Concerningly, Trump then railed against inflation and rising gas prices — which no doubt will win him the support of more moderate voters who just want to be able to afford shit again. Even if he isn’t actually going to help them.

For those that follow him because they’re just racist, Trump also condemned immigration into the US.

“Our country is now being invaded by millions and millions of unknown people,” he said.

“We will be paying a big price for this invasion of this country for years to come.

“The blood-soaked streets of our once-great cities are now cesspools of violent crimes.”

This is the same guy who incited the January 6th insurrection, btw. But sure.

Trump then made his presidential bid for 2024 official, and I feel like I’m a scared teenager in 2016 again. How TF have we not evolved at all since then?

Trump said America was in a “horrible state”, which is true but for none of the reasons that he thinks.

“Two years ago, we were a great nation,” he said.

“The decline of America is being forced on us.”

It sure is.

This is a developing story. We’ll update it with new information once we know more.