Anti-vax buffoons are reportedly claiming that “unvaccinated semen will be the next Bitcoin”, despite studies suggesting that the vaccine has literally zero impact on your baby juice.

As reported by Vice, anti-vaxers are claiming that their semen will be in “high commodity” in a few months to a year’s time when the rest of us are vaccinated.

Back in June, anti-vax propaganda accounts on Twitter tried to turn this crackpot theory into a meme to spread vaccine misinformation. Then, it grew popularity on the now archived r/NoNewNormal, a subreddit for anti-mask and anti-vax misinformation. Fortunately, Reddit suspended that subreddit on Wednesday and Twitter has been suspending any tweets related to it, but the conspiracy theory is still circulating online.

In one now-deleted Reddit thread about this, one user claimed that they were “going to retire as a ‘cum cow'”. Another reportedly vowed: “Mark my words that unvaccinated sperm and blood will be in high commodity in a few months to a year.”

When the meme spread on Twitter, a crypto-currency blog wrote an article debunking the theory with the headline: “Is unvaccinated sperm really the next Bitcoin? In true anti-vax fashion, however, conspiracy theorists took that headline wildly out of context, and claimed it as proof, and started genuinely calling it the self-proclaimed next crypto-currency.

At the same time as all this, scientists at the University of Miami ran a study on 45 different men after they took two doses of the vaccine and found that there was no significant decrease in the quality or amount of semen you produce after taking it.

As Tony Chen, a clinical assistant professor at the Stanford School of Medicine’s urology department told Vice: “There is evidence that the vaccine is safe for men and that it does not affect sperm production [or] quality.”

In fact, research shows that COVID-19 could result in erectile dysfunction and male infertility. Samples of COVID-19 have been found in testicle and penile tissues, and the virus can show up in semen.

IDK who needs to hear this but listen: if you’re looking to sell your semen on the cyber white market, it’s actually better for you to be vaccinated. 

Truly, the vaccine is your one-stop shop to preventing all this from happening—as well as, you know, preventing you from being hospitalised or infecting your friends and family. If you want to keep that sperm nice, warm, and healthy, get vaccinated.


All adult Aussies (yep, even if those of us under 40) are currently able to get the safe and effective AstraZeneca vaccine through a GP. Click here to see which clinics are offering it, and talk to a doctor to see if it’s right for you.

Alternatively, you can triple-check to see if you’re eligible for the Pfizer vaccine here.

The best vaccine is the first one you can get, and that’ll be our ticket out of this mess.