Clive Palmer’s Twitter Has Finally, Officially Cooked It, And It’s Glorious

If you drew a Venn diagram of wealthy mining magnates and deliciously loose units, Clive Palmer would sit right, smack bang in the middle. The businessman and former politician, whose company Mineralogy remains locked in an ugly legal battle with its estranged Chinese business partner, appeared to crack it earlier this week, sending out a series of bizarre Tweets about his fast food cravings, specifically his love of hamburgers. 

Old mate is currently trying to shed some kilos – he posted late last year that he was down from 153kg to 111kg, with “only 20 more to go” – and he recently noted that he’s almost past the “100kg barrier.”

Only 6kg to go to smash the 100kg barrier. I can do it

— Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) February 24, 2017

His recent obsession with hamburgers, hot dogs, Tim Tams and other forbidden foods may come down to diet. Seriously, who hasn’t stared lustily at a bag of salt and vinegar chips in the cupboard and imagined just ripping the entire thing open and slamming it down their gullet in one go? Who knows, though, maybe the guy just really likes burgers?

I just love hamburgers…. pic.twitter.com/qywdZXvJxf

— Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) February 22, 2017

Over the last couple of days, his Twitter has become even more lit, if that’s even possible. For example, on Wednesday, he allowed allowed himself a Tim Tam, just the one, but apparently it stirred up a lot of feelings:

Tonight’s the night I have my TimTam. Only one.

— Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) February 22, 2017

I personally guaranteed $2billion of solvency for the refinery from 2009-2013. I didn’t even get a #TimTam or two.

— Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) February 22, 2017

Gee that Tim Tam was good.

— Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) February 22, 2017

Then came the haikus. So many haikus. Or possibly tiny, poetic cries for help:

Faka faka faka news
For u to choose
Hot bath
Stiff drink
Flippant and cunning

— Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) February 22, 2017

Cuddle in bed
Love your family
Tomorrow is a long time

— Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) February 24, 2017

Hamburgers.
Why not?
Why say why?
My Kitchen Rules.

— Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) February 24, 2017

Today, things have gotten even more … interesting:

The dog that’s on the grog. pic.twitter.com/WQJZ3mK3lq

— Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) February 24, 2017

Hard at work pic.twitter.com/tNnbPwOZMW

— Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) February 25, 2017

The truth will set you free pic.twitter.com/BAXB4cNkja

— Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) February 24, 2017

The sickest cow
The strongest bull
Is unconcerned

— Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) February 25, 2017

She a dumpling
Wait a while
Take a sugar cube
Stay a while
Take some hope
Smile a while

— Clive Palmer (@CliveFPalmer) February 25, 2017

Clive’s Twitter has more feelings than an early 2000s emo song right now.