Clive Palmer KO’d Himself On Stage, Went To Hospital, Came Back & Launched A $70M Campaign

Walking headline Clive Palmer briefly stopped walking on Saturday when the billionaire knocked himself out on stage. The billionaire bozo was rehearsing the launch of the United Australia Party’s election campaign on the Sunshine Coast when he tried to jump up onto a platform. Sir, what were you doing?

We still don’t know exactly why Clive felt compelled to scale a platform, but we do know that old mate was knocked out for a grand total of 20 seconds resulting in a hospital visit.

“I found at 68 I couldn’t jump as high as I could at 64,” Clivey boy told Sky News on Saturday.

“I hit the platform on the side rather than on top and fell backwards, hit my head, was knocked unconscious.

Okay, first question: What in the fossil fuels was Clive doing JUMPING?

Did he set up a jumping castle for attendees at his campaign launch? If so, I might’ve actually considered going…

“I went and got a brain scan,” he continued. “Which was very reassuring and found that I had a brain but that it wasn’t damaged.

Ahh yes — that classic hack for remembering your belongings. Keys? Check. Phone? Check. Wallet? Check. Brain? Check.

After a short stint in the emergency room, the unvaccinated wannabe politician returned to the stage and resumed business as usual.

The business? Launching a whopping $70,000,000 campaign for the United Australia Party to 1,000 yellow shirt-wearing followers who were supposedly there of their own free will.

Per the ABC Clive “Power Move” Palmer promised to chuck the Greens last on his how-to-vote card . Ooft, a sick burn.

Palmer is officially walking very slowly for the Senate at the 2022 Federal Election so stay tuned to PEDESTRIAN.TV for more updates on one of Australia’s most chaotic pollies.

This is the second time in as many months that Clive Palmer has been rushed to hospital. In February, he was admitted to the hospital with “covid-like” symptoms.

He then missed a Supreme Court hearing because he apparently still had the spicy cough.

For better or worse, the Australian Federal Election will be held on May 21. God help us all.