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Listen up, hornbags, Christmas has well and truly cum early this year, courtesy of our mates over at Wild Secrets and Lovehoney. Those cheeky sex fiends are currently slashing up to 60% and 20% (respectively) off a huge range of sex toys to celebrate Click Frenzy Mayhem 2021, and can please someone renew my Netflix subscription? I’ve got a date with the Duke.

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The self-pleasure gods have looked down on us today because big orgasm givers like Satisifyer Pro, Womanizer Duo 8, Lelo Sila and Vush Majesty 2 Wand are all on sale.

Prepare to be tickled (?) by our top pick of toys and tell your housemates you don’t want to be disturbed for the next 72 hours, or 8 episodes…

The Best Sex Toy Sales from Click Frenzy Mayhem 2021

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Satisfyer Pro 2 was $79.99, now $47.99 (save $32)

There’s a reason this little baby is a best-selling toy worldwide. The Satisfyer Pro 2 is designed to help women achieve quicker, more intense and even multiple orgasms via touch-free clitoral stimulation with unique air pulses — and boy does it deliver. 

Lelo F1s Sonic Wave Masturbator was $249.99, now $169.99 (save $80)

Just slide into the body-safe silicone canal and let the sonic waves give you a mind-blowing orgasm. It featuring grooves for heightened sensations, and simple press controls designed for one-handed use.

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Vush Majesty 2 Wand Vibrator was $ 149.99, now $134.99 (save $15) 

If you’re looking to upgrade from your old clunky wands, this Vush vibrator offers five varying levels and 10 optimised vibration patterns to explore using the three-button interface as you hold onto the ergonomically curved handle.

Lelo Sila 3.2 was $279.99, now $209.99 (save $70)

If you don’t have a clitoral vibrator, might we suggest you invest in this bad boi. Lelo’s Sila clitoral massager uses sonic waves to stimulate your clitoris without direct contact. You just hold this round toy with the buttons facing you then place its large open mouth over your sweet spot.

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Womanizer Duo 8 was $ 359.99, now $284.99 (save $75) 

I’m just going to cum right out and say it, I have the Womanizer Duo 8 and honestly, there’s no sex toy like it… It delivers the ultimate blended orgasm. Innovative pleasure air tech tantalises your clit with sucking and massaging while the flexible shaft stimulates your g-spot. 

We-Vibe Match Couple’s Wearable Vibrator was $189.99, now $149.99 (save $40) 

I can also vouch for this couples vibrator from We-Vibe. My boyfriend and I gave it a whirl and fkn hell. It’s the perfect way to spice things up in the bedroom and make sure everyone’s blissfully happy, no matter what. It heightens everything (!!), and doubles as a solo vibe for anyone with a vagina! 

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Adam and Eve 8″ Realistic Vibrator with Clitoral Ticklers was $49.99, now $19.99 (save $30)

If you’re in the market for a realistic dildo that also tickles your clit, this one from Adam and Eve should just about do it. I mean, it even has veined textures on the fkn shaft. Enjoy multi-speed vibrations using the simply twist-dial control at the base. 

Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator was $139.95, now $111.96 (save $27.99)

In the words of Anastasia Steele, “This is too much – all this overstimulation, everywhere.” Which is about where you’ll be when you finish with this rabbit vibrator. 

Lovehoney Wild Weekend Mega Couple’s Sex Toy Kit (11 Piece) was $129.95, now $103.96 (save $25.99)

With 11 specially selected toys for sexy fun in endless erotic combinations, including an all-time favourite rabbit vibrator and a dinky butt plug for first-time anal fun, no two nights will ever be the same. Welcome to the weekend! 

Image: Sex Education