Big Bang Theory star Mayim Bialik is being accused of victim-blaming after she wrote a poorly-worded op-ed for the New York Times in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein allegations.
Essentially, Bialik wrote about her own experiences as a “nontraditional-looking woman” navigating her way through Hollywood. That’s fine. But it was her remarks that by a) not being the hot girl and b) taking steps to avoid being sexually harassed that put her squarely in ‘victim-blaming’ territory.
Here’s an example:
“I still make choices every day as a 41-year-old actress that I think of as self-protecting and wise. I have decided that my sexual self is best reserved for private situations with those I am most intimate with. I dress modestly. I don’t act flirtatiously with men as a policy.
“I am entirely aware that these types of choices might feel oppressive to many young feminists. Women should be able to wear whatever they want. They should be able to flirt however they want with whomever they want. Why are we the ones who have to police our behaviour?
“In a perfect world, women should be free to act however they want. But our world isn’t perfect. Nothing — absolutely nothing — excuses men for assaulting or abusing women. But we can’t be naïve about the culture we live in.”
It hardly needs to be said, but here we go: sexual harassment and assault is not about ‘finding someone attractive’, it’s about power. And suggesting that women should monitor their own behaviour, avoid occupying certain spaces and not own their sexuality makes a clear distinction between those who are assaulted and those who are not: those who are not made the ‘right’ decision, thereby meaning that those who did made the ‘wrong’ one. And that is some victim-blaming bullshit.
Bialik was swiftly called out online for her damaging comments.
https://twitter.com/PattyArquette/status/919258621946589184
https://twitter.com/eveewing/status/919250685249622016
https://twitter.com/skinnyghost/status/919273078420520961
You’re not a feminist if you blame assault on how women look. Rape predates the Wonderbra @missmayim https://t.co/LuRIkfzoZE
— Martha 🪷 (@marthaabigail_) October 14, 2017
https://twitter.com/JessicaValenti/status/919279217543704576
What stuns me about Mayim Bialik piece is any feminist in the world could have told you this would happen. How did her editor not catch it?
— Brianna Wu (@BriannaWu) October 15, 2017
Reminder. I got raped at work at a Payless shoe store. I had on a long tunic & leggings so miss me w/ “dress modestly” shit.
— Gabrielle Union (@itsgabrielleu) October 15, 2017
Though I was raped by a stranger who raped me at gunpoint after robbing the store, I was still asked by a female “friend” what I had worn
— Gabrielle Union (@itsgabrielleu) October 15, 2017
https://twitter.com/rgay/status/919322891484672001
https://twitter.com/IjeomaOluo/status/919391407382466560
Bialik responded to the backlash but crucially didn’t apologise for her words nor acknowledge her mistake, instead blaming people for purposefully misinterpreting her piece.
I also see a bunch of people have taken my words out of the context of the Hollywood machine and twisted them to imply that God forbid I would blame a woman for her assault based on her clothing or behaviour. Anyone who knows me and my feminism knows that’s absurd and not at all what this piece was about. It’s so sad how vicious people are being when I basically live to make things better for women.
It’s not the worst ‘apology’ of the month, but it’s certainly up there. The internet might amplify opinions, but most of the ‘vicious’ tweets were actual criticism based on her piece – which was rightly pointed out.
https://twitter.com/JennaHatfield/status/919544531988746240
https://twitter.com/JennaHatfield/status/919545177236279297
had to be making it up bc no one would touch an unattractive girl, no one took your bs out of context. We saw EXACTLY what you said.
— claire (@glossandchucks) October 15, 2017
Feel free to read Bialik’s piece here and decide for yourself if she’s victim-blaming, but in this writer’s opinion, she absolutely is. ‘We don’t live in a perfect world’ is constantly used by well-meaning but ultimately ignorant people to normalise harmful behaviour. Being sexually harassed or assaulted is horrendously common, particularly among women and non-binary people, but it is absolutely not ‘normal’.
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, call the people at 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732 for 24/7 support.
