Last week, ‘Big Bang Theory‘ star Mayim Bialik wrote a seriously misguided op-ed for the New York Times about her experiences in Hollywood, in the wake of the ongoing wave of allegations against producer Harvey Weinstein.
Unfortunately, the op-ed skewed heavily victim-blamey, with Bialik taking the opportunity to self-congratulate for never having been sexually assaulted, thanks to – she says – her modest dress and unflirtatious demeanour.
I still make choices every day as a 41-year-old actress that I think of as self-protecting and wise. I have decided that my sexual self is best reserved for private situations with those I am most intimate with. I dress modestly. I don’t act flirtatiously with men as a policy.
Hmm.
Obviously people were not super impressed by this, with dozens of high-profile women calling Bialik out for her BS on Twitter.
https://twitter.com/PattyArquette/status/919258621946589184
https://twitter.com/eveewing/status/919250685249622016
https://twitter.com/JessicaValenti/status/919279217543704576
https://twitter.com/IjeomaOluo/status/919391407382466560
Reminder. I got raped at work at a Payless shoe store. I had on a long tunic & leggings so miss me w/ “dress modestly” shit.
— Gabrielle Union (@itsgabrielleu) October 15, 2017
Bialik initially responded to the backlash with a ripper of a non-apology, which you can read below:
Being told my @NYTimes piece resonated w/ so many. Also see some have taken my words out of the context of the Hollywood machine. See below: pic.twitter.com/0NmxtAF1vP
— Mayim Bialik (@missmayim) October 15, 2017
However, she appears to now have been made aware of the error of her ways, tweeting out another statement that more fully addressed exactly how she’d upset so many people.
I want to address my op-ed in the NY Times, and the reaction to it. Let me say clearly and explicitly that I am very sorry. What you wear and how you behave does not provide any protection from assault, nor does the way you dress or act in any way make you responsible for being assaulted; you are never responsible for being assaulted. I applaud the bravery of the women who have come forward. I support these women as we seek out and demand accountability from the only ones responsible for assault and rape: the people who perpetrate these heinous crimes. I am motivated and driven to work hard to empower women.
I am truly sorry for causing so much pain, and I hope you can all forgive me.
It’s not a bad apology, on balance, and the reactions have been widely positive.
https://twitter.com/MsDaliborah/status/920735912442646531
https://twitter.com/makcognito/status/920828570951446528
Apology accepted. Sometimes when called out my first reaction is defensiveness and then I sit in the criticism and am changed. I get it. https://t.co/GCV7L1LfWV
— (((Marisa MIller-McDowell))) 🇮🇱🏳️🌈 (@PortlandCashew) October 19, 2017
That’s what she should have said a while ago. Glad she’s learned tho. https://t.co/7KlXvGcfTt
— H3 (@sirheistand) October 18, 2017
Any decent human who realizes they caused pain will apologize. Don’t take this apology & the good it has done away from those who need it.
— Alicia (@aliciafoxrocks) October 18, 2017
There you have it: a teachable moment of how to apologise when you done fucked up, and be sincere about it. Let’s have more of it, yeah?
