Looking for your next excuse to travel? Feast your eyes on 43 – FORTY THREE – festivals around the country worth packing your bags and getting on the road with your mates for. Choose your own interstate adventure:
NSW
Splendour in the Grass
Location: Byron Bay
Dates: 24 – 26 July
Three coveted days of muddy, musical intimacy with some of the world’s biggest acts and legions of their fans. Splendour in the Grass boasts possibly the country’s best line-up of the year, every year, and if you managed to snare a ticket for 2015 you’ve got the likes of Mark Ronson, Peking Duk, Death Cab for Cutie and Tkay Maidza to listen to on the first night alone. Over the next two (booze-filled) days and nights, kept relatively temperate in Byron’s winter weather, Florence and the Machine, Boy and Bear, Dandy Warhols, Azealia Banks, Tame Impala, Alison Wonderland and Britpop legends Blur will be among the musical talents taking to the stage to fill dance-prone limbs with sweet rhythms. Notable past acts include Outkast, Lilly Allen, Lorde, The National, Coldplay and the man himself, Kanye West. Splendour in the Craft and Splendour Arts keep creative minds busy during daylight hours.
Tix: Shit, sold out this year! But for next year’s punt … tix range from $155 for a single day pass, to $365 for 3 sweet days of music and overnight fun, plus an extra $120 if you want to camp onsite (5 nights)
20th Biennale of Sydney
Location: Sydney
Dates: 18th March – 15th June 2016
Can you hold a glass of wine in an abandoned warehouse quoting parts of a long-forgotten uni essay on the postmodern-philosophical interpretations of life-size origami? Perfect. Even better if you are actually an artsy type and like loitering around spectacular Sydney locations (read: Cockatoo Island). The Biennale of Sydney is in its 20th year and will be keeping things tasteful with its mix of local and international artist installations across Sydney. Plans for next year’s biennial event are still a bit sketchy, but if previous year’s showcases are anything to go by, you’re likely to see things not dissimilar to: videos of giant waterfalls, doors through enormous Google search screens, medieval villages, junior protestors, troupes of jogging men, oceans of paper flowers, and warehouses full of ribboned wooden wind chimes.
Tix: Some events ticketed, but mostly free in public galleries. Small fee for ferry tix to Cockatoo Island.
Secret Garden Festival
Location: Secret (duh)
Dates: 26 – 27 February 2016
Does the location remain a maddening secret right up to the event? Yes. Does the line-up remain a maddening secret until after you’ve bought tix? Yes. Will you have time to make sure you’re in Sydney and travel to idyllic farmlands on its outskirts when you receive the elusive location deets? Yes. Will you find yourself in at an exclusive event filled with fellow costumed revellers, some of the best local music acts in the country, colourful entertainment, and excellent food? Yes. Will some of your money be put towards worthwhile charities? Yup. Will you have uniquely ballin’ time? Hells yes.
Tix: By ballot and officially go on sale November ’15. If last year’s event is anything to go by, a one-day pass will set you back around $125, two-days for $185.
Vivid
Location: Sydney
Dates: 22 May – 8 June
As if Sydney couldn’t get more beautiful (yeah biased whatever), some genius decided the city’s most famous landmarks would be the perfect canvases for animated light shows, pulling locals and travellers out into the chilly winter nights with it. Plonk yourself around Circular Quay and watch the mesmerising projections across the MCA, Opera House and further into the city, Town Hall and the University of Sydney. Pretty and smart, Vivid also offers an array of talks and shows to introduce to you the pinnacle of innovation in music and ideas. Leave space in suitcase for the extra IQ points you’ll pick up.
Local’s tip: avoid opening night like the plague.
Tix: Headline music shows and talks are ticketed, varying prices. Light art come free.
Tropfest
Location: Centennial Park, Sydney
Dates: 6 December
Who knew the world’s largest short film festival would be in little old Sydney? Whether you’re one of the 16 finalists (or 700 other less successful entrants) or simply want to appreciate that ‘strayans aren’t half bad when it comes to making little nuggets of filmic gold, Tropfest will fit the bill. Each year the Tropfest Signature Item (TSI) – which must be included in all entries – changes, and this year’s it’s “CARD”. Make of that what you will. From 200 attendees at birth to 150,000 as the festival hits the big two-one, they must be on to something. Pack a picnic and spot the next Joel Edgertons and Sam Worthingtons of the Aussie screen.
Tix: Zilch. Free.
Location: Sydney
Dates: Feb / March 2016
Let’s be realistic: you will have glitter in your hair for weeks afterwards, and find it lurking in the lining of your suitcase and clothing stitches. But that’s hardly an excuse to miss arguably Australia’s premiere event celebrating LGBTQI pride and rights. Things usually kick off with Fair Day, when around 80,000 people descend on Victoria Park outside the University of Sydney for markets, food, and live entertainment (from dance to drag). Things escalate over two weeks towards the climactic Mardi Gras parade down central Oxford St, when a flotilla of floats bearing hundreds of LGBTQI supporters in all manner of flimsy costume display their pride in sexual diversity. The parade – participants and viewers – then disperse across the city to various after-parties, stumbling into underground bars transformed for the night to show their support: glitter-filled, bathed in pink light, staff strip-teasing behind the bar to Darude’s Sandstorm (as this writer found did find themselves).
Tix: Some after parties and parade viewing areas are ticketed, but otherwise parade and pride are free.
The newly announced Snow Tunes festival at Lake Jindabyne in the Snowy Mountains looks super promising, with artists Tkay Maizda, Allday and Hermitude headlining the inaugural event in August. Tix: $79.
Don’t be fooled by its civilised connotations, the, the Lovedale Long Lunch opens up Hunter Valley wineries to busloads of wine ‘enthusiasts’ in all manner of costume and state of celebration for cheap tastings, purchases and on-point food. Tix for around $85, 16-17 May.
If country music is your scene then the Tamworth Country Music Festival in Jan 2016 is fairly unmissable. If you’re more into blues, though, head back to Byron next March 2016 for the Blues Fest – tix $455 for a 5 day pass.
In January you can buff up your blue suede shoes and take the Elvis Express out west for the Parkes Elvis Festival.
VIC
Melbourne Queer Film Festival
Location: Melbourne
Dates: TBA 2016
Australia’s oldest queer film festival, and one of the oldest queer film festivals in the world, the Melbourne Queer Festival has been amplifying alternative film voices for 25 years. It is the largest queer film festival in the Southern Hemisphere, and showcases local and internationally-acclaimed cinematic treats dealing with LGBT issues. Gay and Lesbian speed dating was also on the agenda this year, for all those cinephiles looking for love.
Tix: Varied for different films and events.
Rainbow Serpent Festival
Location: Lexton, Victoria.
Dates: 22 – 25 January 2016
What could lead someone 2 hrs outside Melbourne to the rural Victorian countryside? A weekend of dance, music, colour and celebration with 10,000 other partygoers. Originally devoted to the pulses of trance music, the Rainbow Serpent Festival has expanded over the years and evolved into a “unique combination of music, art, performance, spiritual education, relaxation and healing.” Whether you’re there for the experience or just the view, this institution of Victorian festival-going is unlikely to disappoint.
Tix: $320.
Beyond the Valley (formerly Pyramid Rock Festival)
Location: Philip Island
Dates: TBA 2016 (usually Dec/Jan)
A newbie on the music scene, Beyond the Valley takes over from Pyramid Rock Festival and bravely dumps a bunch of up-and-coming Australian musicians – Peking Duk, for example, alongside Hermitude, Ballpark Music, and The Preatures this year – on an island off the Victorian coast with around 10,000 enthusiasts on New Year’s Day. What could possibly go wrong? Not a lot, if this year’s event is anything to go by, which kept the crowds hydrated with cocktails and boutique beers and some mystical ‘hangover spa’. Organisers are planning another go at it for next year’s opening to the year. Stay tuned.
Tix: This year’s ticket to island merriment cost around $300.
Honourable mentions:
Taking your high school camp sexual explorations out from under the covers is Sex Camp, “celebrating and exploring the spectrum of sexuality from the sacred to the profane over 3 amazing days with over 30 experiential & interactive workshops to choose from.” Curious. Drug and alcohol free, though, and no sexual contact in workshops. Next year’s dates TBA.
For a more PG but not less sultry experience, the Melbourne Jazz Festival is worth a look-in during May/June, while the Port Fairy Folk Festival celebrates its 40th anniversary next year (March 2016) if folk music is more up your alley than electronic and island tunes.
So great is Melbourne’s pride in its food and wine (fine, we’ll give them that), they’ve declared its Food and Wine Festival is a year-round event, and it’s worth checking out monthly events for all the gastronomical lovers out there.
QLD
Chinchilla Melon Festival
Location: Chinchilla (3.5 hrs drive west from Brisbane)
Dates: 16-19 February 2017.
Watermelon slip and slide. Tug-of-war on watermelon slip and slide. Watermelon skiing. Melon bungy. Melon Ironman. Melon Ironwoman. Watermelons to eat. Pip spitting. Music. Booze. Free. Need we say more about the Chinchilla Melon Festival? It’s where 25% of the country’s watermelons, rockmelons and honeydew melons are grown, and they sure know how to celebrate that fact.
Tix: Some events are ticketed, others free.
Abbey Medieval Festival
Location: Caboolture
Dates: 11 – 12 July
Ever fancied yourself a day in the Qld sunshine surrounded by glinting armour, mock fighting, flagons of mead and roasting meats? You need to take yourself to the Abbey Medieval Festival in Caboolture, which celebrates this fare each year with thousands of other medieval enthusiasts. Activities in offer include: “Jousting tournaments, falconry, medieval villages, authentic medieval costumes, swords and shields, puppet shows, gypsy dancing, Turkish oil wrestling”. Turkish oil wrestling. That’s just the clincher, isn’t it?
Tix: Bargain jousting at $4 a pop (viewing only though). Otherwise from $12.50 for access to grounds to $90 for medieval banquet.
Woodford Folk Festival
Location: Woodfordia
Dates: 27 December – 1 January
The folk festival of all folk festivals, the Woodford Folk Festival is a bit of an institution. Not least because serial purveyor of ‘strayan culture, Mr Bob Hawke himself, regularly frequents it for the good vibes, a schooner or six, and a speech on stage every few years or so. Politics aside, the festival is one of the country’s largest gatherings of musicians and artists, with almost 100,000 people attending and over 400 acts – music, comedy, art, circus, cabaret, dance, speeches – over 6 days and nights in the lead up to New Year’s Day. Nestled up in the hinterland behind the Sunshine Coast, it’s a tonic for the end of the year.
Tix: From around $140 for a day + night and camping, to around $690 for the whole 6 days + nights and camping. Significant discounts for early-bird purchases.
Noosa Festival of Surfing
Location: Noosa
Dates: TBA 2016 (usually around March)
What would a festival wrap-up in Qld be without at least some mention of cutting waves on pristine beaches? The Noosa Festival of Surfing rode into 2015 as the largest surfing event in the world by competitor numbers, with more than 600 entries from 15 countries. If you’re not out in the water competing in the open heats, you can sit back on the dunes and enjoy the atmosphere, taking in all the wipe-outs and perfect rides. Heats are interspersed with such entertaining fare as yoga for surfers, wave dog master classes, dog surfing comps, and live music and movie screenings in the balmy evenings. Usually runs for about 5 days.
Tix: TBA.
Honourable mentions:
The Cairns Ukulele Festival, for all things ukulele related, is having a break from its 5 years of success but promises to be back next year for more blissful Tropicana sounds.
We know you’ve been harbouring a secret desire to do an outback triathlon, and dine on local crustaceans, snorkel through muddy bogs and take on the extreme burden of deciding ‘Australia’s Best Butt’. The Dirt n Dust Festival, celebrating all things outback in April 2016, is for you.
Burketown, in the Gulf of Carpentaria, is the only place in the world where the phenomenon of ‘Morning Glory Clouds’ (yes, seriously) can be predicted and observed. They’re super rare so don’t snigger, and pretty darn spectacular I might add. Burketown’s pretty proud of this little claim and is putting on the Morning Glory Festival in September to boot, with live music and local tours in a remote but stunning part of the country.
TAS
Dark Mofo
Location: Hobart
Dates: 12 – 22 June
It is some feat to draw warm-blooded Australians to the southern-most tip of the continent mid-winter, but the excellently named Dark Mofo pulls it off. It is indeed a giant mofo of a tangent from the Museum of Old and New Art (MONA) and its eccentric owner, David Walsh, with 2 weeks of eclectic events that just seem to work in celebrating the cold wilderness of Tasmania: performance art (this year by internationally-acclaimed artist Marina Abramovic), nude winter solstice swims, music, theatre, film and one giant Winter Feast of Tassy’s finest produce. Worth braving the near-arctic weather. Is it cold? “Effing freezing,” says the website, “Rug up or risk high beams and micro peens.”
Tix: Some events are ticketed and mostly sold out (but some still available!). Many others are free though.
WA
Southbound Music Festival
Location: Busselton
Dates: 2016 TBA (usually early January)
The ‘Splendour’ of the West, Southbound Music Festival boasts a line-up not to be balked at. The festival’s home is a stunning patch of land on the WA coastline and some of the names that graced its stages this year included the unshakeably excellent Salt N Peppa, Alt-J, Temper Trap, Vance Joy, SBTRKT, Alison Wonderland, Glass Animals, the Presets and La Roux – to tick just a few off. Shuttle busses take festivalgoers into beachside Busselton for Sunday morning brunch (how very civilised). Fancy a spot of yoga before the sets, a wander through market stalls or want your hair did for the night’s antics? All there.
Tix: From $129 for one-day access to $210 for two days + camping.
Shinju Matsuri – Festival of the Pearl
Location: Broome
Dates: 28 August – 6 September
The tides have turned for Broome’s famous pearling industry, with the Japanese migrants who first worked off the diving boats now the operators of the massive offshore gas projects that dot the WA coast. The ongoing relationship is still celebrated though in Broome’s annual Shinju Matsuri – or Festival of the Pearl, which promises 2 weeks of the usual festival entertainment – music, comedy, cabaret, fireworks – as well as a few nods to the cross-cultural links: a mini Japanese film festival, dragon boat racing, and local Indigenous art exhibitions. While you’re there, check out the local herd of camels at Cable Beach, who obligingly give rides for a small monetary contribution.
Tix: TBA
West Coast Blues and Roots Festival
Location: Fremantle
Dates: TBA 2016 (usually around March)
A day of smooth tunes drifting over the Fremantle Harbour, just half an hour out of Perth. The voices of John Butler Trio, Paolo Nutini, Dan Sultan, Paul Kelly and Xavier Rudd were among many that drifted over Fremantle Park in this year’s West Coast Blues and Roots Festival. Quality booze and food in plentiful supply, among the usual festival characters.
Tix: $149 – $159.
SA
WOMADelaide
Location: Adelaide
Dates: 11-14 March 2016
1982 was a big year. MJ’s Thriller came out, Olivia Newtown John was getting ‘Physical’, ET phoned home, Harrison Ford chased cyborgs in Blade Runner, The Man From Snowy River leaped out of history, and Prince William was born (hooray monarchy). It was also the year progressive Brit musician Peter Gabriel started WOMAD, or World of Arts, Music and Dance – an internationally-held festival celebrating traditional and contemporary arts from across the world. Adelaide’s own one, WOMADelaide, is 20 years strong and annually showcases over 400 international creatives over 4 days and nights in the city’s Botanic Park.
Tix: From $130 for a one-day pass to $344 for all 4 days of international awesomeness.
Schützenfest
Location: Adelaide
Dates: TBA 2016 (usually January)
It is surely some feat to be the “largest shooting and folk festival in the southern hemisphere”, but Schützenfest has laid claim to that title. Not quite the blood-spattered lederhosen of an event you’d imagine, the festival is a celebration of German culture – particularly the large number of migrants who came to the state in 1838 – and the excellent marksmanship medieval towns did so value. With such tantilising events as the elite accordion group, a bratwurst challenge (oh my), crowing of King and Queen Schützenfest and all the pretzels, smallgoods, torte and kuchen one could possibly fit down a corseted costume.
Tix: $18-24
Sea & Vines Festival
Location: McLaren Vale
Dates: 5 – 8 June
A festival that celebrates the beach and local wine? Be still my beating heart. Okay, so it’s definitely on the being-a-civilised-adult range of the behavior / interest spectrum, but if you’re a foodie or wine lover, the Sea & Vines Festival is one for you. Think vine-heavy hills rolling down to the sea, winery tours, winter feasts, beach runs, fiestas, long lunches and bubbly breakfasts. Treat yo self.
Tix: Varied for different events, but usually around the $100 mark.
NT
Barunga Festival
Location: Katherine
Dates: 5 – 7 June
Making its stately way into 30 years of existence, the Barunga Festival is a celebration of the positive parts of regional Indigenous life in and around Katherine – through sports, music, contemporary and traditional arts, bush tucker and heritage tours. The place is brimming with history too: in 1988 Bob Hawke signed the Barunga Statement calling for a treaty between Indigenous and non-Indigenous peoples while visiting the area. It never made it to parliament but inspired Yothu Yindi’s legendary song, ‘Treaty’. Performing artists this year include Paul Kelly and Gurrumul.
Tix: $10 for kids, $40 for 18+.
Bass in the Grass
Location: Darwin
Date: 23 May
The musical south travels north to Darwin in the Territory’s top of the line music festival. Festivalgoers can plonk themselves on the grassy slopes of the Darwin amphitheatre and listen the likes of Hilltop Hoods, Birds of Tokyo, Flight Facilities, The Preatures, Thundamentals and Illy (we see a distinct love for Skip Hop here) at Bass in the Grass. Even sometime-controversial, though nonetheless down to earth, NT Chief Minister Adam Giles has got in on the action, offering free public bus transport, water and a special souvenir cap (cheers Adam).
Tix: $70
Darwin Festival
Location: Darwin
Dates: 6-23 August
If there was one good thing to come out of the devastation of Cyclone Tracy, it is this: Australia’s most northern and only tropical arts festival. Three years after the cyclone, the first Darwin Festival (then Bougainvillea Festival) was held to celebrate the city’s revival and has since gathered to bosom of Darwin’s peninsula renowned musical, theatrical and artistic acts from around the world. This year they’ve managed to snaffle beloved, alcoholic bookshop owner Bernard Black (comedian Dylan Moran), Indigenous actor Ernie Dingo in the stage / musical version of Prison Songs – originally a documentary that interviewed prisoners in Berrimah jail – and indie darling Xavier Rudd & the United Nations. Multicultural Australia is definitely on show, with a suite of events – outdoor concerts, workshops, comedy, visual arts, film and cabaret – highlighting all of its brilliance.
Tix: Specific shows can range from $40-$90, otherwise free open areas.
ACT
Groovin’ the Moo
Location: Canberra
Dates: TBA 2016 (usually around April/May)
Who says regional folk should miss out on all the fun? Okay, so technically this is a multi-state event in regional centres across the country. Aaand Canberra wasn’t added until 2010, 5 years after the first Moo. But, there ain’t a lot of other festivals in Canberra so it gets allocated this one for the time being. Early days of Groovin’ the Moo saw acts like Killing Heidi, Spiderbait, Grinspoon and You Am I spark it into existence, and it’s since seen the likes of Silverchair, The Black Keys, Empire of the Sun, Gotye, Flume, The Temper Trap and Charlie XCX send out their sweet music from its stage to thousands of listeners.
Tix: $100 for the day.
Canberra Balloon Spectacular
Location: Canberra
Dates: TBA 2016 (usually in March)
While the event will never be the same without THAT FACE of the Skywhale, the chance to take a sunrise balloon ride over the labyrinthine network of roads and roundabouts in the nation’s capital sounds pretty okay to me. The Balloon Spectacular lasts around 9 days – plenty of time to hop in a basket and watch the occasional home of our elected leaders blearily wake up, descending to a cooked breakfast before Bronwyn Bishop has time to expel her first MP from the House of Reps.
Tix: Free to watch, but from around $250 per kid to $350 per adult for an hour-long flight.
Honourable mention:
Floriade in September, for all the flower-loving grannies out there.
Multi-state
Some honourable mentions for notoriety and awesomeness. Actually they’re probably some of the best you’ll find in Oz, but as they’re multi-state, you might not need to fork out the cash for cross-border travel. Unless you live in northern Australia, where these festivals have decided not to bestow their presence upon you. Or you’re just looking for any excuse to travel.
The Falls Festival in Byron (NSW), Lorne (VIC) and Marion Bay (TAS) are balloted and for good reason, gathering the best musicians Australian shores usually see each year. They’re strategically straddle New Years Ever to ensure revellers (mostly) don’t regret the awesome company they welcome another year in with. Pricey, but worth it.
Another stellar multistate event is St Jerome’s Laneway Festival which has since also expanded to locations in the US, Singapore and NZ. Gone are the early days, from a tiny bar in Melbourne and the first proper show crammed down a narrow alleyway, the festival now draws the likes of Banks, FKA Twigs, Jungle, Little Dragon and Tkay Maidza.
And then there’s the ones for the intellects among us – renowned film festivals in Sydney, Melbourne and Adelaide, writers and comedy festivals in the major (particularly East Coast) cities, and the more recent Fringe Festivals in Sydney, Adelaide and Brisbane.
I mean, there’s always an excuse to travel isn’t there?
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Title image shot by Life Without Andy.
