A Tale Of Two Hockeys: Joe Is Remembered By Both Parliament And Twitter

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Published

October 21, 2015

Now what we have here, folks, is a Schrödinger‘s cat-type situation: Joe Hockey is quitting Parliament today, and he both is, and isn’t, leaving a good legacy. A Schrödinger’s Hock, if you will.

On the political end of the spectrum, we have a valedictory speech from Joe that casually named his ‘age of entitlements‘ speech as *the* most influential speech in the last 20 years.

He was damn determined to let Canberra know his greatest career hits:

.@JoeHockey starts farewell speech by joking he’s prepared a report card on his performance https://t.co/LYLPczCyw1 https://t.co/dsWsC31tSE

— ABC News (@abcnews) October 21, 2015

“SEE? I’ve done some things, man. And some shit.”

Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, who booted him out as Treasurer not four weeks ago, gave a speech so warm and fuzzy it’s like a kitten climbed up his trouser leg and pissed. He jovially declared this “a big day in the life of a big man,” saying “Joe, we love you,” while Opposition Leader Bill Shorten, in a rare display of something approaching charisma, declared him to be “no ordinary Joe,” HUEH HUEH HUEH.

“The standing ovation spontaneously from your colleagues and the opposition should be one of the memories you cherish here because you can’t get that by just turning up, you can’t get that sort of respect, respect can’t be given by a position or a title, it can’t be given by longevity alone.”

– Bill Shorten, 2015

Cherish the memory Joe. CHERISH IT.

The ‘Strayan public, who never miss a chance to remind our pollies exactly what’s what, are on the other end of the spectrum rustling up some of the other highlights of Joe Hockey’s career.

Joe Hockey became Treasurer:

Govt debt was $273b now $402b
Unemployment rate was 5.6% now 6.2%
Wages growth was 3.0% now 1.2% #auspol

— Stephen Koukoulas (@TheKouk) October 20, 2015

Let’s remember that Joe Hockey would have thrown young people off the dole for six months at a time. Not visionary, cruel and incompetent.

— Mr Onthemoon (@firstdogonmoon) October 21, 2015

Hockey outlining all the core values largely missing from his two (2) budgets.

— Scott Bridges (@s_bridges) October 21, 2015

Joe Hockey, who charged taxpayers $200,000 to stay in his wife’s apartment, is leaving parliament complaining that healthcare is too cheap.

— John Johnsonson (@JohnJohnsonson) October 21, 2015

So long, Hocks, and thanks for all the shit.