NOW WITH ADDED SPOILER ALERT: If you don’t want to find out who wins Eurovision 2012, read no further. Also, maybe get off the Internet today and avoid all outlets of all the media (social, news and otherwise) worldwide.
The Swedish lovechild of Katy Perry and Carly Rae Jepsen (because of the brunette bangs and the ‘Fireworks‘ Europop), Loreen, has convincingly won the 2012 Eurovision Song Contest hosted by last year’s winners Azerbaijan with her club banger ‘Euphoria’ and some very questionable MC Hammer crab walkin’ dance moves.
In a performance befitting last Monday’s live finals of The Voice, Loreen was blasted with a wind machine, confetti, streamers and styrofoam snow (and I thought Sweden was all about minimalism?) to take out the competition with a total 372 points, winning out against nearest rivals Buranovskiye Babushki, an elderly Russian choir with traditional garb and disco pacemakers in their hearts.
Other Eurotrash low-lights included Albania’s shrieking Rona Nishlu, Irish genetic experiment Jedward, and geriatric English crooner, Englebert Humperdinck. And here’s her victory clinching performance of ‘Euphoria’ again, which I am ashamed to say I’ve listened to three times already this morning. Make that four.
