See this photo of Lady Gaga’s face on the cover of Q Magazine? She looks tame, even pretty. It’s all very G-rated and vanilla and unlike her. Now look at the photo below (the lower third of the cover). Closer. Down a bit… Getting warmer. Ok, stop. You’re blushing cos you just spotted the generous bulge in her pants. A bulge that looks alot like a penis. Well, you’d be right. But before you crack a sweat, slap yourself and be reminded that it isn’t real. Unless Gaga is really good at object concealment, then those hemaphrodite rumors definitely aren’t true. C’mon! only Tommy Lee has a penis this big anyway. No but seriously, Lady Gaga has a strap-on down her studded jeans. Why? Well according to her, “We all know that one of the biggest talking points of the year was that I have a d—, so why not give them what they want?” Wait a second, I didn’t want this. I was much happier looking at her half naked body before I started to imagine her with a plus one. This hemaphrodite business is ten types of crazy and just when I thought it had all gone away, she goes and serves it all up again.
Gaga has, and will continue to be, a walking contradiction. Although she comes off as a sandwich short of a picnic, she maintains that she is quite the old fashioned gal. “Well, I believe in certain institutions: cooking, serving dinner, taking care of my family,” she said in Q magazine. “So I consider myself quite the lady.” No doubt Gaga’s stage and public persona differ dramatically from her apparently Betty Crocker/Martha Stewart domestic identity. Then again, I suppose the chameloen qualities of musicians are really what keeps us intrigued. And I must say, Gaga is pulling out all stops. She personally wanted to call this shoot “Lady Gaga Dies Hard”, as a response to social norms on sexuality and media scrutiny. The Poker Face star also blasted society’s Victorian attitudes to women who sleep around. “When a guy says, ‘Oh I f***** all these chicks this week,’ there’s a high-five and giggling. “But when a woman does it and its publicised, or she’s open about her sexuality or she’s free or liberated, it’s, ‘Oh, she must have a d***.” Yawn, we’ve heard it all before; and it’s gonna take alot more than a pop star with a dildo down her pants to change it.
What I can’t understand is, why, in an effort to make a statement on feminine power, Gaga has once again felt the need to employ shock tactics and nudity.
A wise french theorist once said, ” We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves.” Take off those Edward Scissor Hands, put your dildo in your bedside drawer, and Gaga, tell us who you really are. We will love you either way.
