Lady Gaga Is Penis-Free – And On Glee!

Journalists can finally stop dicking around (penis pun!) with the ‘is she or isn’t she’ hermaphrodite conjecture because it’s finally been confirmed: Lady Gaga does NOT have a penis.

In an article written for The Times Of London, columnist Caitlin Moran describes going to a Berlin sex club (“you know – like in Eyes Wide Shut?”) with Gaga and her cohorts. Once they’ve had a few drinks Lady Gaga and Moran go into the bathroom together for some classic drunk female bonding and…

Weaving her way down a series of corridors, we eventually end in – the VIP toilet.

“You’re wearing a jumpsuit,” Gaga says, with feminine solidarity. “You can’t get out of one of those in the normal toilets.”

As I start to arduously unzip, Gaga sits on the toilet with a cheerful, “I’m just going to pee through my fishnets!”, and offloads some of those whiskies.

For the first year of her career, massive internet rumours claimed that Gaga was, in fact, a man – a rumour so strong that Oprah had to question her about it, when Gaga appeared on her show.

Perhaps uniquely among all the journalists in the world, I can now factually confirm that Lady Gaga does not have a penis. That rumour can, conclusively, die.

There you go: Lady Gaga does not have a doodle.

Visit the Times Online to read Moran’s full, extensive account of her Lady Gaga experience.

From a singer’s penis speculation to a spectacle of singing dicks, television’s second gayest series (after Antique Roadshow), Glee, has a special episode coming soon that was inspired by the 24-year-old pop star – with fabulous costumes (the lobster dress, the Muppet frock, the McQueen heels), all Gaga’s radio hits, and seems more amazing and less autotuned than previous episodes.

Title Image by Kevin Winter via Getty

More Stuff From PEDESTRIAN.TV