Here is a maxim you must always remember: celebrity feuds are only good if they’re about rooting. The goodness of a celebrity feud is directly proportional to how much terrible, terrible rooting there was.
Therefore, the current battle between Katy Perry and Diplo is extremely good, because it is the purest story of all: one celebrity claiming that another sucks at dicking down. That’s what we’re all here for.
Well, Katy didn’t sya Diplo sucked, per se. James Corden asked her to rank the sexual skill of three blokes: Diplo, John Mayer and Orlando Bloom. Perry agreed – after some chiding – to a ranking: Mayer, then Bloom, then Diplo. She did insist that all three were “amazing lovers”, and that she “wants to have sex with all of them when [she gets] out of this place.” Which is something you say when you just accurately and honestly ranked the sexual prowess of three blokes.
Diplo shot back in reply to a THUMP tweet.
I don’t even remember having sex
— young ric flair ?? (@diplo) June 12, 2017
Yeah, sure you don’t, chief. Ya remember it, dude. He seemed a tiny bit more buoyant in a later tweet.
I won the bronze metal in sex Olympics ?? pic.twitter.com/RD2PanuCue
— young ric flair ?? (@diplo) June 12, 2017
Whatever helps you sleep at night, man. On to the next tryst – and here’s hoping this one goes slightly better than bronze for you.
Source: Twitter.
Photo: Getty Images.
