When Beyoncé wore a Givenchy dress clearly referencing a puddle of nausea gravidarum [morning sickness] to this month’s Met Ball the Internet knew something was up. “Make me a gown with subtext and flair; with a pooling train the colour of the life that burns inside of me and the eggs I threw up this morning. Let’s give these people something to live for besides this moi” I imagined her cooing to Riccardo Tisci while smizing into a Beyoncé-shaped mirror in the temperature controlled Beyoncé archives in Midtown Beyoncé [Manhattan].
Then earlier this week when she cancelled the Belgium leg of her Mrs. Carter World Tour That Doesn’t Include Australia 🙁 citing doctor’s orders to take it easy after suffering from “dehydration and exhaustion,” she might as well have peed on a stick with a little blue plus sign, handed it to the Internet and whispered: “I’m hella preggers but don’t tell nobody yet tee hee.“
Now “multiple sources” have exclusively confirmed to E! that Beyoncé is officially up the Hilary with her second child, due whenever it feels like making its debut; probably onstage at the MTV VMAs which this year are taking place at Jay-Z’s Barclays Center in Brooklyn on August 25th *drops mic*.
Reps for Blue Ivy had no comment.
UPDATE: Overnight, Beyoncé apparently posted to Instagram a message that reads thusly [via Daily Mail]:
Not gonna like Bey: that hurts.
Photo: Timothy A. Clary via Getty [no flash, all pregnant glow]
