It was only a matter of time, but now you can cop your very own Sexy Brett Sutton calendar to hang up at home, or at work… or at your personal shrine to Victoria’s dashing Chief Health Officer.
What better way to worship and idolise Daddy Sutton than by plastering his schmick mug all over your house?
The $32 calendar features photos of Sutton’s finest moments, all of which happen to be at his daily press conferences which have become essential viewing not only for Melburnians, but Aussies all over.
For the purposes of this article we shall refer to it as the Sexy Brett Sutton Calendar, but unlike, say, a sexy firefighter calendar, Sutton unfortunately isn’t posing shirtless here. So it’s only really a Sexy Brett Sutton Calendar if you find Brett Sutton sexy in general.
Anyway, this horny/healthy stocking stuffer comes to us courtesy of a mysterious online store called Dust Bunny Productions, which literally sells nothing else but these Daddy Sutton calendars.
Aussie journo David Milner, who wrote the introduction to the calendar, said working on it was “not the weirdest thing to happen to me all year, but it is up there.” Fair call.
Just wrote the introduction to a charity calendar featuring photos of Brett Sutton… which is not the weirdest thing to happen to me this year, but it is up there.
— David Milner (@DaveMilbo) December 3, 2020
Sure, it’s a bit of an unorthodox choice, but there’s no shame in revering this DILF (Doctor I’d Like to Friend) who oversaw one of the most impressive pandemic recoveries in the whole world.
Here’s the best bit: profits from sales of the calendar will go straight to The Smith Family and Médecins Sans Frontières (Doctors Without Borders), which are among the best places you can give money to if you want to help people at home or abroad.
Also… there’s a discount if, for some reason, in some rash act of horny online shopping you decide to order three (7.5% off), five (15% off) or, dare we say, ten or more sexy Brett Sutton calendars (20% off).
You can cop the Sexy Brett Sutton Calendar for yourself (or your horny loved ones this Christmas) here.