Winter is coming at us like a bat out of hell and that means one thing: snotty colleagues.

We all know them. They come into the office, sniffing and sneezing, wheezing and goobering. Their skin is pallor, like a soggy weetbix. Their every complaint has a nasally, phlemgy twang.

Despite this, they come into the office.

This mattyrdom should stop; colds are contagious, and if you’ve got one you should stay at home to lower the risk of infecting others. But, sometimes the show must go on, and taking multiple days off just isn’t an option.

If that’s the case, you might need to take matters into your own hands.

We did a whip ’round the office to hear about the most crackpot home remedies PEDESTRIAN.TV staff swear by when they just can’t afford to be sick. (Making memes and reporting on pop culture news is a very important job.)

Disclaimer: none of us at medical professionals, and all of these could very well all be placebo. Here they are anyway.

“I have a bottle of eucalyptus oil that I sniff. You end up feeling as drowsy as a baby koala but it works a treat.” – Kath

“Pho with shit loads of chilli, or chicken veggie soup… for breakfast, lunch and dinner.” – Stacey

“As soon as I start feeling slightly under the weather I start popping ArmaForce. They’re over the counter tablets with olive leaf, echinacea and vitamin c. It’s meant to boost your immunity and I believe it. #notspon” – Lucinda

“I make myself a hot tea with fresh ginger, cayenne pepper, crushed garlic and lemon. Don’t add manuka honey… instead have teaspoons of it raw before and after you drink the tea. This is because honey has amazing antibacterial properties that die when you boil them. Also generic honey doesn’t work – it needs to be raw/unheated.” – Anna

“I don’t know if this is just me, but sometimes a few gins actually fixes you.” – Kylie

“I eat raw garlic and use nasal spray. Drixine No Drip is my saviour!” – Georgia

“Start popping the Dimetapp tablets as soon as I feel even a tickle in my throat.” – Deb

“When I feel a cold coming on, I take a probiotic (I have no idea what they do except that they’re good for you in some way), 2 vitamin C tablets and put myself to bed at 9.30 in like 400 tops for warmth. I usually find if I get to it quick-smart like this, with the good sleep + warmth + vitamins, I can often kick it before it develops.” – Mel

“I give myself a good solid steam room and sauna sesh.” – Myles

“I make myself a brew; a whole lemon up and squeeze into a small pot, add some shaved ginger and boiling water, then add a bit of honey. I also use vapour rub all over my chest and nose. For a bad cough, I hold my breath and eat a tablespoon of turmeric. And for the vomiting flu? Heaps of ginger ale and water.” – Kristy

“This is my cure all for a sore throat: gargle a shot of whiskey for 20 seconds, then swallow another for good measure.” – Flick

“For a sore throat, I gargle apple cider vinegar and eat manuka honey raw from a spoon and whole cloves of garlic, too. I’ll have three apple, carrot and beetroot juices a day, as well as wheatgrass shots. But mostly, I try to get out in the sunshine rather than sit in bed.” – Chris

“A good hot toddy is a nice one – lemon, honey, hot water, cloves, cinnamon stick & ginger with a bit of whisky. A friend of mine who works at T2 got me into lemon myrtle brewed with Pai Mu Tan is like a hug from the inside. Other than that, my motto is always starve a fever and feed a cold… and REST.” – Courtney

We’ll take any excuse to rest. Especially if it’s in front of a Netflix-enabled device.

Image: The Big Bang Theory