Don’t argue with me, do not @ me – horror movies based around evil as fuck houses are easily the best kind of horror movies. Zombies can get fucked, vampires can (literally) go to hell. Give me a demon house any day for maximum frights.

Put Yr Shitting Pants On, Here’s The Trailer For Horror Flick ‘Winchester’

If you’re a huge evil house fan like me, get ready to froth hard over the trailer for upcoming film Winchester: The House That Ghosts Built. It’s got Helen Fucking Mirren heading it up, and Aussie director bros Michael and Peter Spierig behind it – they’re the guys behind Daybreakers and the upcoming Jigsaw, btw – so chances are this is gonna be a good one mates. Here’s the teaser trailer.

FYI, if you’re not fully across the Winchester Mystery House – which is the real-life home this movie is based on – I’m about to school you. Because I am a total mystery-loving sadcase who believes in ghosts and regularly gets roasted by the entire Pedestrian.TV editorial team for it. Finally, it’s coming in handy.

Basically, Sarah Winchester (Helen Mirren’s character in the film) was the widow of William Wirt Winchester, treasurer of Winchester Repeating Arms Company – yep, the brand behind Winchester rifles.

After William died, Sarah inherited a shit-ton of money and a majority share in the company. Here’s where the story gets spooky – Sarah allegedly was told by a medium to move West, then to continuously build a home for the spirits of people who died at the hand of a Winchester rifle. Ooooookay.

Put Yr Shitting Pants On, Here’s The Trailer For Horror Flick ‘Winchester’

The home – which does exist, guys – is just a huge, rambling mess of a place with no real plan to it. There are stairs that lead nowhere, windows that overlook other rooms, and doors that open to nothing. Oh, and there’s spider and number 13 references all through the house, because apparently they carried spiritual significance for Sarah. She had carpenters working around the clock on it all the way up until her death in 1922. In short, it’s WEIRD and CREEPY.

Also, there was only one working toilet, and all of the others were apparently built to confuse spirits. TO CONFUSE SPIRITS. Do spirits go to the potty? Methinks they do not.

Anyway, it’s all primo foundational content to build a fucked-up horror movie on. I for one will be purchasing a ticket or two.

Winchester: The House That Ghosts Built is slated for Feb 2, 2018.

Image: CBS Films