It was one of the most shocking moments in television history and now Mischa Barton is shedding some light on her decision to leave The O.C. and why she pushed for Marissa Cooper to die rather than move away.

“In the beginning, there was an expectation of me to still remain being Marissa Cooper in this Laguna Beach, California, world, but it’s not feasible at the end of the day,” she told The New York Times in a new interview.

She then adds, on The Hills: New Beginnings, “You are going to see me. It’s not in any way really scripted at all.”

“People seem to have always associated me with one thing, and I thought [The Hills] would be a good opportunity for them to get to see the real me,” she said.

The actress claims she made the decision to leave the show ahead of its fourth season back in 2003.

“I just had a lot in my career that I wanted to do and accomplish. I felt like things were really heavily reliant upon me, and I was getting no time to do any of the other offers that were out there,” she added, noting that it was an “intense” time for her in her personal life.

“Making the show was a lot towards the end,” she added. “I really feel like everything sort of worked out in the way it was probably supposed to. I may never have gotten a job or a career if I hadn’t taken just taken it then.”

It turns out the writers initially wanted to gently write Marissa out of the show by having her move away but Barton insisted on killing the character instead.

“I fought tooth and nail for that to not happen, because I just don’t think that’s Marissa Cooper. I just don’t think sailing off into the sunset’s the proper goodbye,” she said. 

“She’s one of those burnout characters where I don’t know how much more we could have done with her anyway.”

A finale with Marissa included would’ve been ace but FINE, have it your way.