Last night’s Love Island Australia was pretty borza in terms of drama. The best moment by far was a smooching game in which male contestants were blindfolded, and female contestants had to go down the row of guys and shove their tongues in their mouths to try and win “Best Kisser Of The Villa”. Also, a great experiment in spreading cold sores, IMO.

can’t wait for the mutant cold sore virus that develops from this challenge

Oh, and Grant decided it was a fucking brilliant idea to remind everyone what a douchelord extremo he is, and rated Cassidy a 1, saying “hashtag been there, done that” in response. GOOD JOB FROM THE LORD OF FUCKFACES.

Tayla even got mad at him, but then he apologised to Cassidy and apparently the bar is set so low that Grant’s version of an apology (“It’s really hard for me ok everyone takes shit out of context but sure sorry” vibes) was worthy of a surprise picnic for the couple (read: two glasses of warm OJ with some wine in it and a soggy sanga or two) which Grant literally frothed over so hard, he almost had a heart attack. Good lord, these people.

#wifeymaterial #blessed #partnerincrime #whereyoudratherbe

ANYWAYYYY I digress. Sorry I just love this show ok.

The ACTUAL best moment happened outside of the actual programming. It was an ad for tonight’s episode – revealing to us viewers the extremely hot new piece of man meat – Jaxon.

????Australia???? Meet your new @LoveIslandAU Islander. #LoveIslandAU

A post shared by JAXON (@jaxon_human) on

Oh, does that name sound familiar to you? Is it because it’s the actual name of the lead character in Sons Of Anarchy? Played by Charlie Hunnam, the star of any/all my sex dreams? Do you notice any, erm, similarities between Love Island Jaxon and Sons Of Anarchy Charlie Hunnam Jaxon at all here, friends?

I am sorry. I am very sorry if the producers of Love Island managed somehow to find a man who is a literal clone of Charlie Hunnam, just happened to have his exact Sons Of Anarchy hairstyle and facial hair, and also frothed motorbikes and black leather. That maybe was a magical and extremely convenient coincidence.

OR, it is all absolute bullshit and this man’s name is Brian, he’s an accountant, and he has never in his life touched a motorbike until this video shoot.

As my Editor Josie just said to me “he was handling the bike like I handle a baby: no fucking idea what i’m doing. ‘wahhh take it off meeee”. 

Looking at his Instagram he CLEARLY is aware of his similarities to SOA Jaxon – so either this guy is a legit obsessive who has morphed himself into Charlie Hunnam/will maybe be revealed as a Charlie Hunnam stalker who stakes out his home regularly in attempts to make a skin suit out of the guy, or he’s been carefully moulded into the SAMCRO leader by some cunning producers I would frankly like to befriend immediately and use for my own sneaky manipulative purposes.

@dohertysgym #gym #photoshoot #fitness

A post shared by JAXON (@jaxon_human) on

Can’t wait for this ep, the girls are all going to drop their brains into the bin immediately and probably have a Hunger Games style fight to the death for this guy. RIP everyone.

Image: Love Island