As countless philosophers have asked throughout history: “Life — what’s the go with it?” It’s messy, it’s complicated, it’s weird, it’s difficult, and, most crucially of all, it’s fleeting. You barely have the time to figure out what the fuck is going on before you’re fatally struck by a self-driving Tesla on your way to the shops, leaving behind an untidy apartment, several unpaid bills, and a Siamese fighting fish called Douglas Bubbletrousers.

So what do you do? The one consolation of living these brief, turbulent lives is that we don’t do so alone. We get to share in the wisdom of all of those who came before us, who grappled with the same issues and persevered through the same struggles. We get to draw on the wisdom of history’s great writers and painters and doctors and poets and philosophers and psychologists and historians and filmmakers and musicians and doctors and, of course, podcasters.

The good news is that you no longer have to toil in the dark, alone and frustrated like a ghost, because the Kates are going to solve* all** of your problems. Kates McLennan and McCartney, the local geniuses who gave us The Katering Show and Get Krack!n, are launching a podcast with the dual intentions of offering life advice and saving themselves from madness.

The Kates, presumably typing on the same keyboard in perfect concert, told P.TV that they are hoping to get the first episode of the podcast — titled Only Wrong Answers — out sometime before Christmas. “It’ll be the two of us drinking booze at the end the working week and doling out advice to other people’s problems. We only have qualifications in one of those fields,” they said. “But really the whole thing’s a rouse for us talking about climate change and what parts of our bodies hurt that day.”

I, for one, cannot wait. If you have a pressing (or not-pressing) life advice issue you would like the Kates to deal with, chuck them an email at [email protected]. For now, watch this:

Image: ABC