WATCH: The Late Night Crew Has Already Eviscerated Trump’s “Pussy” Comment

While you gorge yourself on schadenfreude watching the clips below, it’s important for you to know that if today was any other day during this American presidential election campaign season, every single one of these talking heads would be skewering Hillary Clinton. 

The Democratic nominee is actually having a truly terrible day in her own right. A stack of documents produced by Wikileaks this morning appear to contain excerpts of private speeches Clinton made to massive Wall Street firms before she made a bid for the presidency.

There are some concerning comments in there regarding her coziness with the financial industry – the kind of comments even her primary opponent Bernie Sanders (remember him?) would have torn to smithereens. 

The whole leak would have been fertile comedic ground for a group of entertainers who are likely sick of trying to make Donald Trump seem more ridiculous than he already is. But, of course, he spared Clinton the embarrassment by having what could be the single worst day of any presidential nominee. Ever. 

That doesn’t mean it’s undeserved, though. Stephen Colbert, America’s uncle, was one of the first to offer his take on the matter. With a camera trained on him in a recliner, he donned headphones to watch that video for the first time. 

It’s exactly like those 2 Girls 1 Cup reaction videos of yore, and yes, it even elicited some cussin’ that the man can’t produce on The Late Show proper:

And now an important message from Stephen Colbert’s den. #TrumpBush2016 pic.twitter.com/OKMY2lTSq9

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) October 8, 2016

Samantha Bee and the Full Frontal crew have been one of Trump’s harsher critics this election cycle, but her immediate reaction to the video was to send it the hell up with her own “leak” of over-the-top-sexist ranting, campaign bus and all:

‘Cause they’re bloody committed to sticking the boot in, they even coughed up this stellar statement:

An Official Statement From The Full Frontal Team pic.twitter.com/nwiaR2g5bS

— Full Frontal (@FullFrontalSamB) October 8, 2016

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver obviously think they pre-empted this shitstorm with their recent raisin-referencin’ Trump takedown. Fair enough, really. They probably put a sizeable dent in HBO’s budget with all of those hellfruits, anyway:

Ugh, raisins. https://t.co/pGLKSvX0vy pic.twitter.com/8VfbJQAvgE

— Last Week Tonight (@LastWeekTonight) October 7, 2016

One of the man’s most ardent #haters, Bill Maher, only had to paraphrase Trump’s own words to draw an incredulous laugh from the Real Time crowd. Is he still sanctimonious? Sure. Wrong? No sirree:

#TrumpPence #MakeSexualAssaultGreatAgain! #TrumpTape pic.twitter.com/11iwNMQRT4

— Bill Maher (@billmaher) October 8, 2016

Elsewhere, The Daily Show didn’t even bother expending any more resources on the guy. Look at it this way: you know you’re in election hell when even the political comedy show won’t even stump up a straight-to-camera piece to drag your inherent shittiness:

The Daily Show would like to formally withdraw its endorsement of Donald J. Trump.

— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) October 7, 2016

Seth Meyers, who might be the one who planted the presidential seed in Trump’s mind a few years back at the infamous 2011 White House Press Correspondents Dinner, indicated his Late Night crew is working on something… But you’ll just have to wait, ’cause they’re gonna time the drop for maximum impact.

Much like the actual Access Hollywood leak, if you think about it:

It would be fitting if this ended on a bus

— Seth Meyers (@sethmeyers) October 7, 2016

These video statements start too late for kids on the East coast

— Seth Meyers (@sethmeyers) October 8, 2016

If you want PERFECT lighting we can’t have it ready until midnight

— Seth Meyers (@sethmeyers) October 8, 2016

We can only speculate as to Jimmy Fallon’s response, but we’re sure 30 Rock is an interesting place to be after his hair-tousling escapades. 

You got lucky, Hills. That focus could have been on you.