WATCH: Dildophobe Ted Cruz Seems Almost Human Next To ‘Trump’ On ‘Fallon’

Perhaps it’s telling that the only way Republican presidential hopeful / meme-ordained Zodiac Killer Ted Cruz appears remotely palatable is when he’s stuck next to a hyperactive impression of Donald Trump.

Even then, the bloke who once tried to banish sex toys in the United States had to really, really work at it during his latest appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. 

Sure, it’s a vehicle with which Cruz peddled his talking points, but its engine is Fallon’s decidedly not-shit Trump impression. You should see his impression, really – it’s really great. Luxurious. Huge. All the others are sad. SAD!  

From that ludicrous springboard, the bit acknowledges a recent election kerfuffle in Colorado which saw Cruz walk away with a majority of delegates, and a not-so-subtle nod to Cruz supposedly shitting on ‘New York values’.

That’s a big one IRL, ’cause the states’ GOP primary is right around the corner. What followed, of course, was tongue-in-cheek pandering to the n-th degree, but hey, politics and comedy gotta find a middle ground, right? 

In all honesty, it’s a reasonably good – if laboured – intro to Cruz and his hard-line, conservative stances, and oddly enough, it’s a welcome distraction from non-stop Trumpmania… even if his foil is a Donald impersonator. Watch: