Turns Out JK Simmons Has Been Getting 100% Swole Purely For Shiggles

A while back you might recall that photos surfaced of JK Simmons looking less like an ordinary 61-year-old man and more like a hulking ripped Santa who punishes kids on the naughty list by stretching them.

In case you need your memory jogged, prepare to feel like an unmotivated wimp as you gaze upon Grandad’s guns once again:

Welp. As it turns out that was wrong, and the reason JK Simmons is more jacked than a Spring Break party sponsored by Red Bull is simply because he wants to be.

Whilst on the promo trail for the blu-ray release of ‘Kung Fu Panda 3‘ (the acting biz is a slog sometimes, y’all) Simmons let slip that the pair of tickets to the gun show are simply because he likes staying in shape.

“This is all coincidental. After the second and final time that I got hugely fat in my life and when I lost that weight six or seven years ago, I pretty much decided that I was going to stay in decent shape for the rest of my life.”

He also revealed that the original motivation to get fit occurred when watching footage of himself in the first season of the highly acclaimed HBO series ‘Oz.’

“I was not in good shape at all. I was overweight and soft and here I am playing the head of the Aryan Brotherhood in this maximum-security prison in the first-ever HBO original drama and I was watching the first season when it came out and I just thought, ‘Wow, I don’t believe this guy at all. I have to get my a– to the gym and be a believable hard-ass.’”

There is one thing he did do for an upcoming film role, however: the giant white beard, which was grown for a role in ‘I’m Not Here,’ a film his wife Michelle Schumacher wrote and directed.

The beard is gone. But the swole, the swole is forever.