In news that will come as a shock to literally no one, ‘Transformers: The Final Knight‘ is being absolutely flayed alive by the critics.
In fairness, the entire ‘Transformers’ franchise has never exactly been beloved by the critics, given it’s an over-the-top Michael Bay creation about 90s kid’s toys. But some of them – i.e. the first and the third – were relatively enjoyable. This appears to be a cacophonous mess of noise and explosions.
Here’s what the critics are saying.
“I would hazard a guess that Michael Bay would sooner lose his own testicles than hand over the reins of the Transformers franchise … The plot is a car crash of impenetrable stupidity … Perhaps you need to be huffing petrol fumes (or whatever it is that the autobots run on) but 149 minutes have rarely felt so interminable.”
“I can only speculate as to why Michael Bay, at a point long past which most producer/directors would have handed off the directorial reins of this series to someone else (hasn’t he — how can I put this? — said all that he has to say?), is still in there, directing this latest installment … Yet part of what’s exhausting about the “Transformers” films is that hectic bland wholesomeness — the empty energy that can give you a seizure of antic tedium.”
“The Last Knight may feature more shiny, computer-animated Transformers and non-stop spectacle than its predecessors, but Bay seems to be out of fresh ideas for what to do with this franchise, from an action filmmaking perspective … In terms of the other Michael Bay-directed Transformers movies, The Last Knight is neither the solid popcorn movie that the first and third installments arguably are, nor is it quite as messy and slapdash as the second and fourth chapters (Revenge of the Fallen and Age of Extinction, respectively).”
“A movie that’s cut like the world’s longest and most tedious trailer, pinballing from scene to scene and rarely spending more than a few seconds on any single shot.”
“I can’t remember the last time I felt so little while watching a movie. I wasn’t even bored, so much as just dazed, like I’d woken up in someone else’s dream. Transformers: The Last Knight isn’t a particularly good film – it’s overstuffed and incomprehensible, hampered by bizarre narrative choices and inconsistent pacing. ”
“It’s like staring at a projected kaleidoscope for two and a half hours and then trying to tell someone about the plot … I have no proof Transformers: The Last Knight will kill your brain cells, but I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that it does and I’d proceed with caution just in case. But I can say with absolute certainty that after watching, your head will hurt.”
There’s also this:
The craziest thing about Transformers: The Last Knight was when they said that Harriet Tubman knew about/was helped by the Transformers.
— Zach Mullis (@zmullis) June 25, 2017
NB: That is not a joke, by the way. That is Transformers canon.
‘Transformers: The Last Knight’ is out now in Australia, if you can bear it.
Photo: Supplied.
