I don’t mean to alarm you, Sydney, but Squid Game has arrived in your city, just in time for Halloween. I don’t know who let her in, or how she suddenly appeared, but the fucking terrifying Red Light, Green Light girl from the series has popped up in the city for the spooky weekend.

May I just say one thing, and that is: absolutely fucking no thank you.

Towering over the waterside in Circular Quay, the 4.5m tall nightmare fuel doll – who is completely animatronic, by the way – is switched on and ready to play a friendly game or two with punters this weekend.

Well, at least I think it’s a friendly game, but you never really know with The Doorman, do you? Like we thought that egg episode was innocent until the lights went out and all hell broke loose, and now I can’t look at eggs the same way anymore.

The Squid Game doll will be set up beside the Sydney Harbour Bridge from today until Monday, November 1st, fully ready, waiting, and watching everyone who dares try to sneak up behind her to win a round of the playground game. Once again, I must stress, fuck to this.

There’s only three rules to enter her game and run the gauntlet. First, you have to check in with the QR code and show your vax certificate to the guards, no running, and you have to respect social distancing and keep to the 2sqm rule (so you’re fucked if you get into an Ali/Seong Gi-hun collar-grab situation).

If you’re caught disobeying the rules, you will be eliminated (read: kindly asked to leave, please.)

So if you’re game, and you think you can beat the giant doll’s terrifying laser eyes, then chuck on your best green tracksuit and white slip on sneakers, and try your luck. No word on whether there’s also a huge piggy-bank filled with cash somewhere, though.

Image: Supplied