Russell Crowe, Jess Mauboy Join Ellen Onstage In Unrehearsed Comedy of Errors

On a colossal floating stage on loan from the 1995 Triwizard Tournament [Carmen] and streaked scarlet with the blood of her vanquished contemporaries [Tyra Banks, that lady from The View], Ellen Degeneres today recorded live segments of her Oz-themed talk show. It was the performance of a lifetime for Ellen Most Generous, who revealed, like every single piece of international talent that visits Sydney, “I am looking for property, I am looking here.”

Watched by the eyes of some 3000 fans (Degenerates? Degenerators?) who were not looking for property but were looking for a good fkn time, Ellen chit chatted her little heart out against the idyllic backdrop of Sydney Harbour, whose waters seemed to light up even brighter with each smile; like that scene in Life of Pi but also nothing like that because Portia de Rossi is probably not a Bengal tiger. 
A great day peppered liberally with cliché, deafening screams, tears, laughter and a few dance moves was enjoyed by most who heeded Ellen’s Twitter call out and bore witness to her radiant aura and jean-shoe combo, but as The Sydney Morning Herald reports, it was not without its problems:

She came on stage half an hour late, which kept the warm up team busy… There were a few glitches as she huddled with a couple of stage hands while the warm-up crew distracted the fans.

“We didn’t have time to rehearse,” was her explanation – not unreasonable given that she only arrived on Friday.
It gets worse. Cutting a striking figure in a dark suit, renaissance bloke Russell Crowe joined Ellen on stage and failed in his attempt to crack a cattle whip; he did a Jackman, basically. A ball signed by members of the Rabbitohs was thrown into the crowd and hit a microphone. Jessica Mauboy did an impersonation of a Kookaburra. No one in the States will know who Jessica Mauboy is (though to be fair The Sapphires received limited release yesterday so perhaps they will by the time the special episode airs).
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, many people who wanted to see Ellen did not get to see Ellen and instead were forced inhumanely to watch her on giant screens akin to those on which they watch her at home. Shocking, a most cruel and unusual punishment. Some who have spoken to the Herald even insisted that “her heart wasn’t in it. 
It wasn’t well rehearsed and there was no feeling to it and she didn’t dance in the audience. It was underwhelming but asked if I would do it again, the answer would be yes.”
Not even Ellen Degeneres can please everyone all the time, but that’s the nature of Live TV, folks: balls in faces, so many balls being juggled in the air, balls flying everywhere about a bloody arena strewn with the corpses of jokes that fell flat and mics that are *dropped*.
via SMH
Photos by Lisa Maree Williams via Getty