The Wedding Singer is an essential element of the pop culture psyche. Honestly, I would question the morals and priorities of anyone who’s squandered the earth for more than 10 years without having watched it. Seriously, it’s one of Adam Sandler‘s finest moments on screen and solidified his place as one of the world’s greatest, most unique and hottest (yes) comedy actors of all time. It was the first of a trio of collabs between him and Drew Barrymore, it’s got guest appearances out the wazoo, and most of all, is quotable as hell.
It’d also be criminal not mention that if more men had the romance, talent and sheer goodness of Robbie Hart, we would be miles closer to world peace. Every indie soft-boi in a band ~wishes~ they could’ve written a song as sugary-sweet as ‘I Wanna Grow Old With You’. It’s equally as silly as it is fuelled by heart, warmth and nods to the garishness of the 80s that make it that much more chaotic.
Anyway, Wedding Singer: The Musical is hitting our cities (kicking off first in Adelaide this April), so I highly suggest getting yourself acquainted with the nooks and crannies of the classic before seeing it on stage. I recommend doing this by living out the very spirit of the movie completely by slipping in as many references from it into your everyday life – so here are 10 iconic quotes ranked by how easily you can fit them into conversations.
10. “Not porno tongue. Church tongue.”
An epic Julia Gulia moment that truly encompasses how wholesome and quirky she is. It’s relatable to anyone who grew up going to a catholic school, but maybe not great to slide into a first date scenario. Or maybe it is? Depends on your vibe.
9. “Please get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band, and they break up.”
I think all movies should have 1x Van Halen reference for good measure. You can sub this out for any other artist/band, especially if you see someone you don’t like repping one of your faves. We don’t need that bad energy.
8. “Well, I have a microphone, and you don’t, so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!”
We all have a ‘metaphorical’ microphone in life when you think about it. The next time you feel like your opinion isn’t heard or respected, throw this one in for good measure.
7. “All right, remember – alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you!”
A sage, and wise reminder that we all forget all too often.
^^icon.
6. “Hey, my parents died when I was ten, would you like to talk about that?”
A great one to slide into the conversation if you’re speaking to a chronic Debbie-downer. It’ll really hit them with a taste of their own medicine, which we love to see.
5. “Sir, one more outburst, I will strangle you with my microphone wire. You understand me.”
A classic Sandler-anger outburst. We have no choice but to stan.
4. “No, sir, I have no experience, but I’m a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I’d like to put more in that jar. That’s where you come in.”
This is essential at your next job interview. If your future boss doesn’t recognise the quote and takes it for face value, it’s not a place you want to be working at anyway, in my humble opinion.
3. The entirety of ‘Somebody Kill Me’.
The entire song is a cultural entity in itself.
2. “Once again, things that could’ve been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!”
Simply iconic, to say the least. It’s the perfect display of that screeching/half yell/ half growl Sandler voice that’s become a staple in every single one of his movies. It’s so relatable and can literally be slotted into work/family/relationship convos whenever anybody decides to drop a bomb on you.
1. “Hey Linda, you’re a b*tch.”
Absolutely the hallmark quote of the movie. We all know a Linda. I vote that we replace Karen with Linda in 2021 as a way to pay homage to the film and all its greatness.
I’m going to throw in another one for good measure too:
Is your heart completely melted? Do you feel the urgent need rewatch Adam Sandler’s entire filmography? Are you oozing with nostalgia? Good. We’re all in search of the Julia to our Robbie.
You can suss out tix to the Adelaide leg of Wedding Singer: The Musical here.
