Tinfoil Tim Is Back With A Ratty & A ‘Wellness Retreat’ Where You Pay Big Bucks To Eat Nothing

Contributor: PEDESTRIAN.TV

Local dipshit Pete Evans is copping a roasting after announcing his comeback venture after all those controversies: a fasting retreat.

Yep. A celebrity chef who judged peoples’ dishes on a national scale and presumably studied food and nutrition is encouraging people to forgo food and dine on “breathwork” instead at a secluded location.

It pretty much does what it says on the tin: customers plonk down big bucks to go sit in the middle of fucken nowhere, eat nothing and focus on their breathing.

Um, I don’t know how you expect me to breathe without brekky, but sure.

How much does it cost to not eat, you ask?

According to Daily Mail Australia, the two-night “Breathwork Retreat” costs $1,500 (!!!) or you could pay $2,750 for a two-night “Wellness Retreat” at the $1 million centre near Byron that he purchased in 2021.

I honestly don’t know what the difference is between the two but I also don’t care to ask, either.

The idea of a retreat with no treats at all is ridiculous enough, not to mention the hefty price tag.

Seriously, what on earth are you paying for here? A chance to bask in Evans’ sweaty glow? He should be paying you for that!

Given that Evans is banned from kosher social media apps like Facebook and Instagram, he was forced to share his message via Telegram.

Although then again, something tells me that his target audience would spend most of their time on Telegram anyway.

“Hey I’ve got a quick update for you, we’re going to be launching another fasting retreat late February so we’ll probably announce that either tonight or tomorrow or put it up on the website, so if anyone’s keen on coming, we’d love to have you,” he said in a video message on Telegram. The clip was shared by Facebook Group Blocked By Pete Evans which routinely calls him on his shit (and there’s a lot of shit to call him on!).

“Our guests are into day four of their fast at the moment and they went through a breathwork ceremony this morning and it’s pretty special,” he said.

“We’ve had some wonderful transformations happening so yeah love to see you all I’ll put the details in a post tonight, see ya.”

SEE YA indeed.

The post has been flooded with roasts from its loyal following of Pete Evans critics.

“I wonder if these mugs wake up on day two, take a few really deep breaths and realise they have been taken for fools,” one person wrote.

“That would be transformative, I imagine.”

While another wrote: “Their bank accounts are transforming from having money to not having money.”

A third commenter pointed out: “Pete’s out surfing while people are paying to not eat food.”