Today is day four of working from home and I am writing about buttholes. Not just any buttholes, but the buttholes belonging to the terrifying cats from Cats. The people of the internet are yearning for a “butthole cut” of Cats. But does it actually exist? Let us find out.
In these uncertain times, fans (or perhaps people just seeking a distraction) are literally begging on Twitter for this cursed version of the cat movie. That is the very simple gist.
Yesterday, presumably egged on by Seth Rogen‘s live-tweeting of the film, writer Ben Mekler told his followers that he desperately needs a “tell-all book about the making of CATS. It could really help me get through this”.
Screenwriter Jack Waz replied.
https://twitter.com/jackwaz/status/1240135051288948742
Can we just – “His entire job was to remove CGI buttholes that had been inserted a few months before.” So it appears that a butthole cut of Cats may exist. But it also may or may not mean someone spent hours adding buttholes to the likes of Judi Dench, Ian McKellen, Idris Elba, Taylor Swift, James Corden, Rebel Wilson, Jennifer Hudson – the list goes on.
And thus, #ReleaseTheButtholeCut was born.
#ReleaseTheButtholeCut is exactly what we all need right now https://t.co/BhaROTRqLM
— Rian Johnson (@rianjohnson) March 18, 2020
https://twitter.com/Racheldoesstuff/status/1240417469912637440
Only when we collectively gaze upon true horror can we overcome the mundane horrors of everyday life. #ReleaseTheButtholeCut https://t.co/P36FFwkoqG
— Civvie11 (@Civvie11) March 18, 2020
Just imagine, you worked your ass off to get through college to become a CGI artist. Eventually, you land a job in Hollywood, and then one day you’re hired to draw 400 cat buttholes, and then, THEN, someone comes along and erases all your buttholes. #ReleaseTheButtholeCut https://t.co/Gb8aOqSrIR
— Michael Tushaus (@MichaelTushaus) March 18, 2020
Release the Butthole Cut of Cats!! https://t.co/C2VgPqSv1L
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) March 18, 2020
But wait, the plot thickens.
Mekler, who started all of this, received an email from a Cats VFX (visual effects) crew member who asked to remain anonymous.
URGENT #ReleaseTheButtholeCut update/clarification, emailed to me by a CATS VFX crewmember who has asked to remain anonymous pic.twitter.com/nmta9CG08E
— Ben Mekler (@benmekler) March 18, 2020
Lord.
Key takeaways:
- Yes, there were… things that looked like buttholes. But said things were accidental. “There were a dozen or so shots where the skin and fur sim was groomed or just folded in a way that really REALLY looked like very furry lady genitals and buttholes by accident.”
- 2D were tasked to paint over the “offending articles” when spotted.
- At one point in time, a team huddled around a screen and said something like “does that look like a fanny to you?”
I don’t know what to do with this information. But I’ll conclude this yarn with Mekler’s reaction to the anonymous email: “I don’t know why some of you are reacting to this with disappointment when to me the takeaway is ‘there were also cut pussies’”.
I hate it. I hate it so much.
