Ultimate daddy Paul Rudd has been named Sexiest Man Alive, which seems kind of unfair since he clearly has the advantage of being immortal.

Stephen Colbert announced the winner of People‘s Sexiest Man Alive title on CBS’ The Late Show on Tuesday.

During the bit, Colbert put Paul Rudd through a series of tests to see if he was indeed, the sexiest man alive, including inspecting his eyes for dreaminess, his face for how sexy it can be with several fingers or a fist in his mouth (screaming), and putting him in a fucking leash. I enjoyed seeing him in a collar way more than I want to admit.

At the end of the sketch, Colbert told Rudd that he “tested negative for sexy”, to which Rudd just nodded, said that it made sense, and politely walked away. Not before Colbert yelled out that actually, that was the final test, and that nothing is sexier than humility.

Honestly, the fact that it took this long to name Paul Rudd the sexiest man alive when he has been consistent in his blinding hotness for at least 26 years is a crime.

You mean to tell me that somehow Blake Shelton won sexiest man alive before Rudd?? I mean, just look at him!! He hasn’t aged a day!! Since 1995!!! Clueless came out before I was born and yet here I am, thirsting after the lead love interest like we’re from the same century.

I refuse to believe this man is 52 years old. Either this is an Avril Lavigne body-double scenario where someone has cloned Rudd, disposed of the older clone, and introduced a younger one to maintain the illusion of agelessness. OR, Paul Rudd is actually immortal and therefore doesn’t age in the way actual human people do.

Paul Rudd’s cover story with People cover just makes him even more fkn likeable.

Rudd said his wife of 18 years, Julie Yaeger, was the only person he told about being the sexiest man alive. Apparently she was “stupefied”.

“After some giggling and shock, she said, ‘Oh, they got it right’,” he said.

“And that was very sweet. She was probably not telling the truth, but what’s she going to say?”

UGH. Humility IS sexy, and I am in love.