The inevitable has happened, folks: a contestant on Naked and Afraid got ticks in their dick. I wish I was shocked but the truth is this is what I assumed would happen the moment I first heard of this show.
Naked and Afraid: Castaways will air the gruesome scene to its American audience this week, but did us a favour (or assaulted us, your pick) by sharing a sneak peek of the drama. Yes, it’s as awful as you’d think.
In the video, contestant Andrew Shayde wakes up and discovers the bugs have snuggled their way into the skin of his penis, a thought that is making me wretch as I type this.
As he counts them (there were five), a fellow contestant says: “Didn’t you have three in your buttcrack and that’s how you got tapped out before?”
Yeah, nothing could have prepared me for that bombshell.
“Last night was a full assault,” Shayde says after picking them off.
“It was terrible.”
Despite the nightmarish scenario, he remains surprisingly calm for someone who has bugs burrowing into his peepee. However, he does say to the camera later that he’s freaking out for his “little castaway”. Okay, nevermind, he deserves them.
The scene then cuts to old footage of Shayde screaming as people pull the ticks from his butt. WTF is this show?!
In case you aren’t across the premise of Naked and Afraid: Castaways, it’s exactly what it says on the tin: a bunch of contestants try to survive three weeks on a remote tropical island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean… while naked.
As you can see, it’s going exactly how you’d think it would. I can’t decide what’s worse: ticks in dicks or cockroaches in ears. Sorry in advance.
