A nightmarish statue incarnation of Colin Firth playing his career-defining Mr Darcy in BBC’s Pride And Prejudice miniseries has emerged from the Serpentine Lake in London’s Hyde Park.
It’s 12 feet tall, made of fiberglass, probably gorges on children’s brains to sustain its aquatic existence and is freaking terrifying. While it might be more reassuring that the statue’s appearance was sudden and inexplicable, an urban myth—rather than laying responsibility on humans who actually thought this was a normal idea—the structure was a stroke of apparent genius, erected by a TV station in promotion for their new British drama channel.
If they were trying to promote the idea of never watching a bonnet drama for fear of being eaten alive by a gigantic and gruesome Colin Firth while you sleep peacefully (or as Gawker reports, encourage speculation on its plan to feast on the imminent Royal baby), they’ve done a stellar job; congratulations, kudos to you, etc. I have a feeling, though, that they were going for the opposite.
The deadened gaze that emanates from the statue, undermining your core existence and interrogating your very being, will remain at the lake in Hyde Park for another week; it will then find a home at Lyme Park (where the infamous scene was shot in 1995), where he will haunt residents for six months.
May God have mercy on their souls.
Via The Guardian.
