Us Aussies woke up to the earth-stopping news that Facebook, Instagram and Whatsup were suffering a worldwide outage.
They seem to be back on track now, but one can’t help but wonder what the hell could have caused this disturbing and unprecedented global shitstorm…
Well, the astrology lovers among us weren’t at all surprised when the almighty apps went to hell, because Mercury Retrograde kicked off exactly one week ago.
The dreaded astrological period has been known to fuck with three key elements of life: communication, travel, and, wait for it, TECHNOLOGY.
Astrologers such as myself always warn folks to allow extra time and practice patience during Mercury Retrograde, as technological difficulties are bound to happen.
During the hours when Facebook and Instagram were down and out, astro gurus took to Twitter (which saw a huge spike in traffic because, well, where the hell else were the FBers and IGers going to shit post?) to point out that the outage is likely a symptom of Mercury Retrograde, so get used to it.
Slack went down last week, today Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp are mysteriously caput. And some of y’all still think Mercury Retrograde is BS. pic.twitter.com/M5177A7VL4
— Matthew Galea (@mattygalea_) October 4, 2021
Happy Mercury retrograde besties don’t act like we haven’t been telling you #InternetShutDown
— katie 🍓 (@katiieproctor) October 4, 2021
Not Mercury retrograde taking out all of Mark Zuckerberg’s platforms 😂
— Paid Thai (@whatshaninn) October 4, 2021
People: stop blaming everything on Mercury retrograde.
*Internet implodes during Mercury retrograde*
— Ma$on (@FirstGentleman) October 4, 2021
No one can convince me Mercury Retrograde isn’t real when Facebook and IG literally go down every single time during it 😂
— Daddy Pluto🦂 (they/them) (@TarotByBronx) October 4, 2021
damn maybe mercury retrograde is tryna say something about social media addiction
— Kemi Marie (they/them) (@kemimarie) October 4, 2021
Me: Mercury retrograde will create technology difficulties.
October 4th: Instagram, WhatsApp & Facebook down.
Come at me non-believers. COME AT ME. pic.twitter.com/o1HZJxdprZ
— karmen geï (she/her) (@realbeedeejones) October 4, 2021
Happy mercury retrograde pic.twitter.com/a1kMyJfwkY
— astro bully angie (@teaxtarot) October 4, 2021
Mercury Retrograde is set to end on October 18, 2021, so we’ve got a few more weeks of shoddy technology to deal with.
But the good news is that it’s the last one of 2021, praise the lord for that!
Want some advice on how to weather the Mercury Retrograde shitstorm? Head here for our survival guide.
Matty Galea is the Senior Entertainment Editor at PEDESTRIAN who also dabbles in woo-woo stuff like astrology and crystals and has been penning horoscopes since the start of his career. He also Tweets about pop culture and astrology and posts spicy content on Instagram.