Let’s be clear about this: I’m not about to cast aspersions on anyone for having one thing they’re really good at. I, for example, am really bloody good at not leaving my phone, keys, or wallet at the pub. In fact I’m currently running a 34-year undefeated streak in that game. Does putting this down in words doom me to inevitable failure once the pub doors swing back open post-iso and I charge through them like a bull in a rad rag emporium? Maybe. But the point remains: if you’re good at something – like really good – stick with it. That said, if Laura cooks even one more godforsaken pasta dish on MasterChef I’m gonna arrive my derci straight into the Earth’s core.
For nigh on three whole weeks now, Laura has routinely gone full molto bene by dragging out pasta dish after pasta dish after pasta dish. It’s her 1 Wood. Her line and length. Her drop punt. Her mid-range jumper. And I am sick to sodding death of it.
Not to say it’s not working; quite the opposite. For someone who was practically raised in the kitchen by Jock Zonfrillo, for whomst a herby napoli probably counts as porn, and who has her own pasta bar in Adelaide to promote, it’s a smart tactic. She’s routinely in the top handful of dishes each round, and everything she puts up sure as hell looks good.
But fuck me, cook something else. Anything else. There’s a full pantry literally right there. Do SOMETHING.
Even Reynold, who only lost on his first time around because he was so good at chocolate spheres or whatfuckenever that he straight up didn’t bother to learn how to cook savoury until Marco Pierre White slapped him in the face with a fish (that’s how it happened, trust me, don’t bother looking it up), is now out her in Back To Win plating up courses other than dessert mainly because at some point he just got bored of doing the same thing.
Honestly, it’s a herculean feat that Laura’s been able to change up the variety on a nightly basis. The mental gymnastics required to churn out a different pasta every challenge is something else. But ultimately it’s all the same damed thing. Mystery Box? That’s a pasta. Team Challenge? That’s also a pasta. Immunity cook-off? You bet your ass that’s pasta. Pressure Test featuring a non-pasta dish set by a guest chef? Somehow that’s a pasta too.
I’m not the only one crying out for a bit of bloody variety either. Social media practically howls in pain every repeated time Laura instinctively reaches for the flour and eggs.
Actually wouldn’t mind if Laura used the hibachi instead of, you know, cooking pasta. Again. #MasterChefAU
— Sophia Phan (@Sophia_Phan) April 29, 2020
https://twitter.com/LisaVisentin/status/1255437874549456897
Melissa low-key said it – another pasta dish from Laura #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/G84CQYXFlA
— eeek (@eeeka208) April 29, 2020
Judges: Today’s challenge is to make a Sunday roast
Laura: Today I’m gonna make pasta
Jock: #masterchefau pic.twitter.com/YFu2H2WosD— Chris Silvini (@ChrisSilvini) April 29, 2020
Laura: So I’m making pasta
Jock: #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/VWZIbFuQEv— Tess Barnes (@tessxbarnes) April 27, 2020
me when I find out that Laura is making ANOTHER pasta dish #masterchefau pic.twitter.com/KI0FsZ5VJg
— Isha Bassi (@Isha_Bassi) April 29, 2020
Ok, but I want to see Laura cook pasta on a hibachi in the next challenge. #MasterChefAU
— Michelle 🐿💨 (@MichelleMackey1) April 27, 2020
Laura trying to find the essential ingredients for Pasta#MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/Ql0jxB9F6J
— deadplant15 (@deadplant15) April 29, 2020
No one:
Literally no one:
Not even a soul:
Laura: iM mAkInG pAsTa#masterchefau— Basic Masterchef Quotes (@BasicMasterchef) April 27, 2020
Imagine if you played a #MasterChefau drinking game where you had to take a shot every time anyone said “hibachi grill” or whenever Laura cooked pasta. You’d be off your head by the 3rd commercial break
— Dylan Alcott (@DylanAlcott) April 29, 2020
Cook something else Laura, for fuck’s sake. Roast a bloody chook. Make a sanga. Just crack a jar of pickles and serve that up if you want.
Do anything, ANYTHING. Please. I’m begging you.
