Yesterday, we were offered a much-needed palette cleanser after the gross-ass Armie Hammer and Azealia Banks scandals in the form of a new spot of celeb tea: Mary-Kate Olsen getting divorced over Zoom.
A bunch of pics from inside the ~virtual~ courtroom surfaced online, showing our girl looking fierce as she attended the hearing, alongside soon-to-be ex-husband Olivier Sarkozy, their lawyers, and New York Judge Lori Sattler.
First time a judge has granted me permission to “shoot” a proceeding in the pandemic and it’s a screenshot of Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy’s divorce proceeding. The future is here and it’s bizarro, babe. pic.twitter.com/tuguy4bTcZ
— Molly Crane-Newman (@molcranenewman) January 13, 2021
Peep all the cheeky observations that fans have made about what went down during that wild, wild Zoom meeting.
Mary-Kate Olsen was front and centre, where she belongs
Punters have pointed out that while there are eight people in total on the call, the video boxes have somehow been arranged so that Mary-Kate Olsen is front and centre at ALL times.
Despite the occasion being a Divorce Zoom Hearing, Mary-Kate Olsen is in her rightful place, front and center. She might not have appeared in a movie since 2011 but she still exudes ⭐️ power and immediately captures your attention on screen. pic.twitter.com/OaRDVzgzI0
— pray4mischa (@pray4mischa) January 13, 2021
What makes it funnier is that Us Weekly reports that Mary-Kate Olsen struggled to get her video working and kept popping in and out of the meeting and apologising to the judge as she did so.
“Guys, I need help up here. Can you hear me?” she said at one point, according to Daily Mail.
So you’d think that her box would’ve moved around on the grid at some point but nope, it was always centre stage. Again, where she belongs.
Is that the food critic from Ratatouille?
The guy in the top middle (who I can only assume is a lawyer?) looks an awful lot like the food critic from classic Disney animation, Ratatouille, no?
Top middle looks like the food critic from ratatouille pic.twitter.com/M7TgE62t9A
— stupid pig (@cavywavvy) January 14, 2021
— Nemesis Ruiz (@nemesisemr) January 14, 2021
Was that… a smile… from Mary-Kate Olsen?
The Olsen twins are renowned for being photographed on the street with a ciggy, a cup of coffee, and large sunglasses. But one accessory you’ll seldom find them with is a smile and ya know fucken’ what? I love that for them. It’s their brand statement and they’ve stuck to it for years and it’s just an absolute vibe, okay?
But as pointed out by a fan, while all the other peeps on the meeting are looking v. serious, Mary-Kate Olsen is offering up a rare smile which is funny, considering it’s the subject matter of the meeting and all that.
“Beautiful and haunting that one of the first times we see Mary-Kate Olsen smile in the last decade is during her divorce hearing,” the fan wrote.
Beautiful and haunting that one of the first times we see Mary-Kate Olsen smile in the last decade is during her divorce hearing pic.twitter.com/LgGt9NvNfU
— Fran Fine (@miggythotz) January 14, 2021
I’d even go as far as to say that it’s more of a smize than a smile, which is even more fierce TBH.
Choosing an outfit would’ve been stressful as hell
A tweet by writer Rachel Handler made me realise something: imagine being a note-taker, a lawyer, heck, even a judge, and finding out that you were going to be sitting in on the divorce of Mary-Kate Olsen.
Girl, I’d be tizzying myself (and my home) up like crazy to avoid judgement from one of the biggest style icons of all goddamn time.
“Imagine the stress of dressing for Mary-Kate Olsen’s zoom divorce …. this judge-approved screenshot is a stunning work of pandemic art,” she wrote.
That it is, Rach. That it is.
— rachel handler (@rachel_handler) January 13, 2021
While the lawyers said they’d submit the settlement that both Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy agreed upon as soon as possible, the judge set a hearing date for January 25 just in case.
The NY judge concluded by instructing the lawyers to “file the papers and let’s get them divorced. I think that’s the same objective for all of us.”
Your girl’s about to be free, and apparently she has an “ironclad prenup.” No wonder she was smizing.