I’m going to come right out and say that Olivia wasn’t the greatest person last night. She and Jackson teamed up on Holly with little consideration and knowledge of the torment Andrew had put her through. But coming at Olivia for openly grieving about her dad afterwards? That’s really fucked up.
I hang shit on the MAFS contestants four nights a week, but last night I felt sick reading the tweets about Olivia. Not those about her actions towards Holly, but ones suggesting she was using some kind of dead-dad card to make people like her again.
Jackson really tried to divert poor Holly’s moment into a #notallmen situation.And as for Olivia, the fake tears about your dad is not going to win viewers over after victim blaming Holly. #shameonyouboth #mafs #MAFSAU
— Miss OVH (@Miss_OVH) February 20, 2022
Olivia trying to get everyone back onside with “dead dad tears”. #MAFS #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/P5HS8pOqBM
— Just Sue.🇺🇦 (@SueKennedy19) February 20, 2022
I’m sure the timing felt a bit off for some people watching at home, but unfortunately the bereaved don’t get to choose when they’ll be triggered or grief bombed. I’ve started crying over a death in my own family during meetings, dates, and even benders. I would have loved it if that didn’t happen when it did, but it’s important that when it does, people don’t judge you for it.
People who are grieving constantly feel like they have to hold back their tears so that people around them feel more comfortable or so that they feel less inconvenient. So imagine, when that wave does hit, being told you are being fake about your emotions because of the timing.
It’s really horrible to Olivia, her family, and the entire grieving community to essentially be told when and how you should grieve. Have I been an asshole to a coworker and then cried about my own late parent less than five minutes later? Of course! Sometimes it’s related to what just happened, sometimes it’s not, but it’s never opportunistic.
Olivia has made it pretty clear that her dad died recently. And while this will be something she has to navigate for the rest of her life, her dad’s death is still really fresh and Jackson is likely the first person she’s had a serious relationship with since.
In her mind, it seems as if she has found someone that she thinks is endgame. It’s hard enough to date someone new (let alone someone you’re wanting to spend the rest of your life with) who your parent has never – and will never – meet.
https://twitter.com/H_the_Cats_Fan/status/1495320321062162434
She’s going through the motions of events she had likely imagined her dad being around for. She’s not only grieving the loss of his life but also all the memories she thought he was going to be included in. Happy moments are inherently sad when you’re grieving.
Aside from her introduction episode where she cried to the camera about her dad, I’ve never seen her do it again. Is it so wild to think that this has been building up; that as her and Jackson’s relationship gets more serious, the idea of her dad not being around for it feels more real?
I’m not excusing the way Olivia acted last night. I think the conversation around bullying and learned misogyny is an important one that we need to continue to have. But as someone who has experienced what both Holly and Olivia have, I’m disappointed in Olivia while still really feeling for her in this situation.
I also don’t even know if Olivia realised the gravity of her actions until she watched this show back and became fully aware of what Andrew had done. So to suggest that she was bringing up her father in order to scrub her image clean ain’t it.
Was she even aware her image had been tainted? Because, from where I was sitting, there was serious “everyone’s going to love us for this” energy coming from Olivia and Jackson when they butted into Holly’s time on the couch.
The conversation around Holly had moved on, and the experts were pushing her to open up about how she feels about Jackson. The way she feels about Jackson clearly brought up a lot of grief for her, and she cried.
Olivia made a mistake by siding with Andrew, but even the worst people in this world are allowed to openly grieve the death of a loved one, whenever that might be.
This is less of a “be nicer to Olivia” rant and more of a reminder that people should be able to grieve when it hits them. It’s not a choice, and it’s always bubbling under the surface. It would be a dream to get to choose when you cry about it, so to suggest that’s what she did is quite cruel.
So by all means, have your opinions about Olivia for letting down the sisterhood (I know I do) but leave her grief out of it.
Chantelle Schmidt is a freelance writer. You can find her on IG here.
