The 66th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards will be held in Los Angeles on the evening of Monday August 25. For a few glorious hours, TV fans will unite in throwing Twitter shade, sharing gifs of rich people falling down on red carpets, snarking that the whole thing is rigged anyway, and pretending that the arbitrary recognition that comes with shiny awards and trophies has any kind of real bearing on our lives.
In preparation for the awards, we decided to take a look at nominations, and after a highly scientific process consisting of downing a few beverages and debating who’s awesome and who’s shit, we offer you our flawless analysis of who deserves to win and who inevitably will win in each of the major categories.
Outstanding Comedy Series
The Big Bang Theory
Louie
Modern Family
Modern Family
Orange Is The New Black
Silicon Valley
Veep
What Should Win: Louie‘s existential despair rides a thin line between hilarious and fucking gut-wrenching, but Veep‘s last season was truly a thing of beauty, pushing Selina Meyer and her foul-mouthed team to breaking point and beyond. From the return of the feisty Finnish president to the coining of the phrase ‘DANIWAH!’ and the surprising twist ending, Veep was on fire this year.
What Will Win: Comedy snobs love to hate on Modern Family because it’s a ratings giant and its stars are known for appearing in dodgy ads on the back of buses, but five years in, it’s still pretty sharp. Plus, it has won the Comedy award four years running, and we’ll be very, very surprised if it doesn’t do the same again.
Outstanding Drama Series
Breaking Bad
Downton Abbey
House Of Cards
Game Of Thrones
Mad Men
True Detective
What Should Win: There’s no doubt that Game Of Thrones is bone-smashingly, wildling-slaughteringly, Joffrey-poisoningly awesome. Objectively speaking, though, if you distance yourself from the gif-able moments and gruesome deaths, it’s still pretty fucking great. How HBO manage to create a TV spectacle this lavish is frankly beyond us.
What Will Win: Breaking Bad picked up the Drama award last year, and coming off a critically-adored final season, we’ll bet you a trailer full of meth and a clip of Aaron Paul on The Price Is Right that it completely smashes every category this time.
Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series
Louis C.K. as Louie on Louie
Don Cheadle as Marty Kaan on House of Lies
Ricky Gervais as Derek Noakes on Derek
Matt LeBlanc as Himself on Episodes
William H. Macy as Frank Gallagher on Shameless
Jim Parsons as Dr. Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory
Who Should Win: Matt LeBlanc‘s portrayal of himself as an endlessly lovable fuck-up in the increasingly hellish sitcom-within-a-sitcom Episodes is worthy of some recognition. His delivery of the line “looser pussy” when describing a failed three-way is worthy of every award ever.
Who Will Win: Sigh. Emmy voters love Jim ‘Bazinga’ Parsons so he’s pretty much a lock.
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Lena Dunham as Hannah Horvath on Girls
Edie Falco as Jackie Peyton, RN on Nurse Jackie
Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Vice President Selina Meyer on Veep
Melissa McCarthy as Molly Flynn on Mike & Molly
Amy Poehler as Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation
Taylor Schilling as Piper Chapman on Orange Is the New Black
Who Should Win: This is a really tough call. Amy Poehler has been nominated multiple times but never won, and even though Parks is a bit past its prime, a trophy for her would still be nice as the show heads into its final season. Edie Falco and Julia Louis-Dreyfus are both outstanding, although Selina’s hysterical bathroom meltdown at the end of Veep’s third season was truly something epic.
Who Will Win: It’s way too tough to call. In all likelihood, defending champion Louis-Dreyfus will walk away with another trophy, but we’re going to pick this one for sentimental favourite Poehler. Surely they won’t freeze her out again.
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Bryan Cranston as Walter White on Breaking Bad
Jeff Daniels as Will McAvoy on The Newsroom
Jon Hamm as Don Draper on Mad Men
Woody Harrelson as Detective Martin Hart on True Detective
Matthew McConaughey as Detective Rustin Cohle on True Detective
Kevin Spacey as Vice President Frank Underwood on House of Cards
Who Should Win: Mad Men is so entrenched in pop culture at this point that it would be easy to overlook Jon Hamm, but all these years in, his performance as the tragic Don Draper is still compelling as all hell. It would also be fun to see True Detective bros Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson hugging it out if one or the other won.
Who Will Win: Jeff Daniels is defending champ, but keeping with the theme of utter Breaking Bad annihilation, we’re going Cranston.
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Lizzy Caplan as Virginia Johnson on Masters of Sex
Claire Danes as Carrie Mathison on Homeland
Michelle Dockery as Lady Mary Crawley on Downton Abbey
Julianna Margulies as Alicia Florrick on The Good Wife
Kerry Washington as Olivia Pope on Scandal
Robin Wright as Second Lady Claire Underwood on House of Cards
Who Should Win: The Good Wife, otherwise known as that courtroom show your mum watches, is actually pretty damn great, so we’re going the totally daggy option here and throwing our support behind Julianna Margulies.
Who Will Win: Kerry Washintgon is probably going to win for super buzzy Scandal, but we won’t have any hard feelings about that, because she and the show are both as fun as hell.
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Fred Armisen as Various Characters on Portlandia
Andre Braugher as Captain Ray Holt on Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Ty Burrell as Phil Dunphy on Modern Family
Adam Driver as Adam Sackler on Girls
Jesse Tyler Ferguson as Mitchell Pritchett on Modern Family
Tony Hale as Gary Walsh on Veep
Who Should Win: It’s a bit of a sleight on Ty Burrell that he’s nominated in the supporting category, since he’s breakout star of Modern Family, and anchored the show’s sometimes-uneven fifth season. Andre Braugher‘s no-nonsense Ray Holt is the perfect foil for Andy Samberg’s hyperactive Brooklyn Nine-Nine performance, and we could watch them bounce off each-other all day.
Who Will Win: This is Jesse Tyler Ferguson‘s fifth nomination in a row, so don’t be surprised if the voters throw him a little love for Mitch and Cam’s rather sappy Modern Family wedding storyline. That said, don’t rule out Veep’s Tony ‘Buster Bluth’ Hale, who won the award last year.
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Mayim Bialik as Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler on The Big Bang Theory
Julie Bowen as Claire Dunphy on Modern Family
Anna Chlumsky as Amy Brookheimer on Veep
Allison Janney as Bonnie Plunkett on Mom
Kate McKinnon as Various Characters on Saturday Night Live
Kate Mulgrew as Galina “Red” Reznikov on Orange Is the New Black
Who Should Win: Kate McKinnon is the standout star of SNL right now, and she nails every character, from Justin Bieber to Angela Merkel, the impression that scored her this nomination in the first place. Kate Mulgrew‘s Red is a balls-to-the-wall fucking badass, and anchors the already very strong ensemble of Orange Is The New Black.
Who Will Win: Julie Bowen, whose physical comedy chops are seriously underrated, has won two out of the past years, and is the conservative choice to win again.
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Jim Carter as Charles Carson on Downton Abbey
Josh Charles as Will Gardner on The Good Wife
Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister on Game of Thrones
Mandy Patinkin as Saul Berenson on Homeland
Aaron Paul as Jesse Pinkman on Breaking Bad
Jon Voight as Mickey Donovan on Ray Donovan
Who Should Win: No offense, Aaron Paul, but this is Peter Fucking Dinklage‘s award. Who are we even kidding? Tyrion spend almost the whole of Game Of Thrones season four confined to a dank little prison cell, and still ran rings around almost everyone else. His speech about the beetles fucking crushed us.
Who Will Win: Much like Cranston, we have a sense that Aaron Paul will walk away with this one, but whoever does win, Tyrion Lannister will probably arrange for them to be shot on the toilet with a bow and arrow.
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Christine Baranski as Diane Lockhart on The Good Wife
Joanne Froggatt as Anna Bates on Downton Abbey
Anna Gunn as Skyler White on Breaking Bad
Lena Headey as Cersei Lannister on Game of Thrones
Christina Hendricks as Joan Harris on Mad Men
Maggie Smith as Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham on Downton Abbey
Who Should Win: Last year’s winner Claire Danes is out of the race, so it’s really anyone’s. We’re going with Christina Hendricks, forever.
Who Will Win: Anna Gunn‘s performance on Breaking Bad was so convincing that she reportedly received death threats from fans who hated her character so much. Those are some acting chops right there. To round out our list of likely winners, we’re predicting Gunn for total Bad domination.
Photo: Jason Merritt via Getty Images
