If my calculations are correct, the US presidential election has been going for roughly 1000 years. It’s been a brutal war of attrition between a centrist Democrat and a Republican wig that has somehow been taught how to hate, conducted mainly by tweets, thinkpieces and monologues by late night TV hosts.
Nearly every facet of the discourse has been absolutely ridiculous, with critics of Donald mostly just quoting the nonsensical things he’s said, and critics of Hillary occasionally coming up with reasonable points but mostly just spouting insane conspiracy theories.
For instance, did you know that Hillary is terminally ill and could die at any second? According to The National Enquirer, Hillary had six months to live as of last October – which, if my maths is correct, means she died months ago.
Trump has been asserting that she doesn’t have the strength or the stamina to do things like defeat ISIS or even just campaign. While his accusations don’t have quite the wackiness of what his fans have been saying, it seems to imply it’s either got something to do with her age or gender, which is just as crazy.
To put that wildly bizarre claim to bed, Hillary disproved it the only conceivable way: by opening a jar of pickles on live television.
After taking her pulse and finding nothing, Jimmy Kimmel put her to the ultimate test, rustling up a jar he conveniently had secreted away in his desk.
Have a watch:
Well that settles that.
Source and photo: The Guardian.
