Per the internet’s ongoing mission to reveal all your dirty little secrets, Google have today released a list of the most popular searches for 2014, all the things that delighted you, saddened you, made you fap like the fist of an angry god and inspired you.
The data is surprisingly in-depth, and searchable by country, providing a snapshot of the things that were on our minds in 2014. In short, we as a nation are really into Jennifer Lawrence, and enjoy making pancakes after our numerous Tinder hookups.
Apparently, however, we’re pretty vague on where Perth is, and don’t even ask us to explain what the fuck gluten is all about.
Get ready to cop some raw data. Australia’s Top 10 Overall Searches of 2014 show that we were profoundly affected by a number of celebrity deaths, and also by Flappy Bird:
1. World Cup
2. Malaysia Airlines
3. Robin Williams
4. Charlotte Dawson
5. Phil Hughes
6. Jennifer Lawrence
7. Schapelle Corby
8. myGov
9. Ebola
10. Flappy Bird
Five of the Top 10 Aussies we sought out were athletes, and apparently, everyone wanted to see pictures of Todd Carney peeing in his own mouth followed the Todd Carney story closely:
1. Schapelle Corby
2. Todd Carney
3. Iggy Azalea
4. Margot Robbie
5. Rolf Harris
6. Torah Bright
7. Nick Kyrgios
8. Sia
9. Ian Thorpe
10. Alex Mckinnon
‘Bae’ was robbed in the list of The Top 10 terms of Digital / Internet Lingo:
1. Tinder
2. Neknominate
3. Goat Simulator
4. Ello
5. Bitcoin
6. Doge
7. Pixelmon
8. Vines
9. Dogecoin
10. Flipagram
The wild and woolly Top 10 International People (including both bearded Eurovision winner Conchita Wurst and power douche Dan Bilzerian, which is a triumph of … something) are:
1. Jennifer Lawrence
2. Michael Schumacher
3. Oscar Pistorius
4. Jules Bianchi
5. Jared Leto
6. Jordan Belfort
7. Renee Zellweger
8. Lorde
9. Dan Bilzerian
10. Conchita Wurst
The News Stories that we furtively Googled so we could feign some vague knowledge of them in office discussions were:
1. MH370 News
2. Peaches Geldof Dead
3. Cyclone Ita
4. Michael Schumacher News
5. Scottish Independence
6. Alex From Target
7. Ukraine News
8. Lunar Eclipse
9. Ebola Outbreak
10. Philae Lander
Our most favourite-est one of all is the plaintive list of What Is …? searches. The concepts we as a nation failed to grasp are:
1. Ebola
2. ALS
3. Love
4. Gluten
5. Tinder
6. ISIS
7. Depression
8. Bitcoin
9. Cilantro
10. Tumblr
Cilantro – how the fuck does that work?
‘Where is Perth’ was the third-most popular location search (sorry, Perth), while pancakes are the most popular recipe. You can head to Google’s blog to look at the results for Australia, and then spend the rest of the day tinkering like we plan to.
